When I was young, I went through a very bad time. I was an overweight teenager in a home that was experiencing a great struggle. I was getting up early, going to school all day, and then working in a small office after school with a lot of old, not-very-nice men. When I finally got home at about 6 p.m., I was starving, but my parents who feared I was too overweight, cautioned me about eating too much. After that I did what I could with the homework I had and some chores related to my five siblings.
At the time, I desperately wanted to be one of the pretty and popular girls. I wanted to have a boyfriend. Yet, I was young for my age and in some ways, a bit unlike other young teens my age. I was a playful dreamer at 16 who spent a lot of time dreaming as I played with toy characters, drew in notebooks, and watched old musicals in my free time. Fortunately I had a small group of very close friends who I spent a lot of time with, and my family, though challenged with a struggle, had many good times in nature together.
I often felt worthless during those years. And there was a point when I wondered if it was even right that I should be alive. My religious upbringing taught us the sanctity of life, and with this in mind, and my love for parents forefront, I knew that suicide was out of the question--and I rationalized that desperate moments are fleeting, and why end life when you could do something crazy, wild, and wonderful instead. That's when I came up with the exit strategy plan which I believe is a great life-saving strategy for any human. Though grim, the exit strategy prompts you to come up with a plan about what you'll do when you feel desperate. My plan was to hop on a plane to Hawaii no matter what the cost is and live there for a while. Sounds crazy, but sometimes we get trapped into thinking there's no way out--nothing else that you can do, but if you have an exit strategy, better named an exist strategy, then you have an alternative if desperation strikes.
Recently I've read about and heard about a number of desperate stories--these pandemic days are difficult. Many people are suffering for all kinds of reasons. That's why it is important to figure out your exist strategy and remind yourself that sufficient rest, a change of scenery, and time doing something that fills you up can make a world of difference. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to those who you think might be able to help you--that too can make a world of difference too. I know. I've been there.