Prom time

 A few weeks back, one of my Twitter follows, Briana, wrote that her fifth graders were talking about the prom. I replied that I remembered being a fifth grader who spent a lot of time drawing pretty prom dresses. Also as a fifth grade teacher, when prom time came around, fifth graders with high school siblings would often bring up the topic. 

For better or worse, prom is a long held tradition in American society. Many, if not most, high schools have one or two proms for juniors and/or seniors. The rules that connect to prom vary from school to school and region to region. 

Way back when I was a junior and senior in high school, my mom encouraged me to go to the prom. I was a true late bloomer at the time, a girl who was afraid to even talk to the boys so to go to the prom was a giant step for me, but my mom's rationale that I would regret not having that experience motivated me to ask boys to go to the prom with me. I went to an all girls' high school so we all had to ask our dates to accompany us. For the first prom, I asked my sixth grade crush, Robert, to go to the prom with me. He agreed, and we went.
Honestly, I don't think I sad two words to him the entire evening, and when he dropped me off at home after the festivities I quickly scurried into my house. Senior year, my mom actually arranged my date with her friend's son, and similar to junior year, I don't think we spoke more than a few words the entire night. How awkward, but in hindsight, I'm glad I had the prom experience. 

As an educator and mom, I've seen the prom through many lenses since then. I had a shy son and not-so-shy sons so I saw the prom through their experiences. I encouraged my shy son to attend in a similar fashion that my mom encouraged me. I haven't asked him since if that was a good idea or not, but his experiences were very similar to mine. As for my not-so-shy sons, they had girlfriends and were very social, so prom for them was quite different. 

As an educator, I was always happy that the school system I worked in had one prom for juniors and a dinner dance for seniors instead. This truly took the pressure off seniors who were not dating or interested in dating, and seniors who didn't fit the prom mold for lots of reasons--it gave them a chance to attend a dinner dance just for seniors as a way to celebrate their final days in high school. To me, this seemed like a more inclusive idea.

Is prom a good idea? If handled well, I think it can be a lot of fun for lots of students--it's an opportunity to get dressed up and enjoy a good time. Of course, I believe prom should be open to all kinds of relationships so that it's inclusive. I also don't think that prom should be the single celebratory event at a high school--I believe that there should be all kinds of celebrations that include photos, dressing up, music, and cheer at high school--celebrations that include a wide array of terrific learning and living
events that bring people together in a variety of festive, positive ways. 

What's your feeling about proms? What were your experiences like? How do you promote or not promote such events with your family members and in your community--I'm curious. I asked my husband this question, and his response was, "I had no clue." How about you?