When I was in my twenties, my then-boyfriend, now-husband, and I would visit older relatives. When we visited them, I always felt bad for them because their lives seemed so boring with their daily routine, same activities, and little travel or adventure. Now that I'm the age that those relatives were back then, I know how wrong I was to feel bad and what a waste of energy that was since I love my routine and happy life at home--there's no reason for any one to feel bad for me or to think that I'm bored. I can see that was true for those older relatives back then too. This goes back to my mom's good advice, "Enjoy the stage you are in because you will never be in that stage again."
Each stage of life has unique features, and it's difficult to understand what those stages of life are like unless you've lived in that stage. For example, it's difficult to imagine being an older person when you are young.
That truth leads me to warn myself and others about the dangers of projecting. Think of the time I wasted projecting my own thoughts and wishes on those older relatives way back when--I misjudged their place in life, and that was a waste of precious time and emotion. When we project from our own vantage point, we often take us down wasteful paths of time, energy, and emotion. Rather than project, it's better to ask questions such as how are you doing, what do you need, and what do you hope for? Asking good questions, observing, and listening are ways that we can truly know about somone's place in life.
Not too long ago, I mistakenly projected my views on another's life. Then when I asked the person a few questions, I realized that my projection was misguided and ill informed. What the person was experiencing was very different than what I imagined.
So the lesson here is to beware of projection of any kind. Instead find out the truth of the matter via questioning, observation, and listening--that's a far better way to understand those you love and care about, and a far better way to figure out ways you can be a good friend and family member. Onward.