Throughout our lives we've been the victims of others' errors time and again--that's a natural part of life. For some, those errors have had grave consequences, and for others, the errors have been small leaving little negative impact. When do we forgive and forget past errors, and when do we hold people accountable?
Recently a friend experienced an error in judgement by a service provider. That error was fairly significant costing my friend time, worry, dollars, and potential good health. My friend needs to decide how to deal with this error--will she hold the service provider legally accountable; will she simply bring the error to his attention, or will she forgive and forget? What is the right course of action?
In our litigious society, many people jump to using legal means to counter errors of judgement or action. They do this for many reasons. Some do it because they don't want the error to happen again. Others do it to gain some kind of reparation for the error which can mean payments that help people deal with the effects of a terrible mistake. And some, probably simply do it to make money or out of spite.
Whether you are the one who is accused or the one who is accusing, using legal means to counter error is rarely ideal and often problematic and hurtful.
There's no one-size-fits-all answer as to whether you should forgive and forget or hold people accountable. In my own life, so far, the errors I've encountered have not been that grave and have mostly been due to a lack of knowing. I was able to counter all the errors with follow-up actions that mitigated the danger and destruction the error might have caused. When educated about the error, I did speak up to examine the error with the perpetrator. As for errors in my own jusdgement, I've tried to keep up on right action as the world evolves and I've been fortunate to be surrounded by many good people who update me when needed and before the errors become too great. I remember once when I used words that were inappropriate--I didn't understand the gravity of my statement, and a friend pulled me aside to educate me. That was a good lesson--had I published my words, the consequences would have been much greater, but thanks to that good friend, I learned how to rectify the error before I shared those words more widely.
We have a responsibility to help each other be as sensitive, positive, and working within the social bounds as much as possible--we save each other a lot of grief if we do that, and when we do that we don't have to make the choices o whether to forgive and forget or hold someone accountable as often. Onward.