You could say that my loved one has had a slow decline. It has been years since that first, overt signal that life was changing for her. I remember that the two of us went on a walk together, and she had a number of troubles during the walk. At that moment, I realized that she wasn't the person I knew for so long, but instead a person who was beginning to change, and looking back, since that day I've engaged in a number of strategies to make life possible and positive for her. At first, I offered more support for dinners out, shopping trips, and holiday parties. After that I changed times, settings, and numbers of visitors, and then began a series of personal care and attention items. Now, what works best is one-to-one time where my loved one takes the lead and I respond as needed.
Last night in a dream, I was driving a car on a slippery road. I lost control. I got in an accident. I wasn't hurt, but the car was damaged. I looked up dreams like this, and the information stated that one typically has dreams like this when they feel out of control or sense impending danger. Just last night I received a call about my loved one's condition--clearly she continues to decline and this is both worrisome and sad.
Perhaps this decline will take days, weeks, months, or years. I have no way of knowing as her condition is complex and varies from day to day, yet clearly, my loved one is not the person she used to be.
What can I do about this? What can I do for my loved one?
The best that I can do is to be present when I'm visiting by listening, giving her a kiss, rubbing nice face cream on her face, and responding to her questions. In any way I can, it is important to be comforting and helpful. What she needs now is mostly very simple and straightforward.
Have I done all I can in light of her needs. I believe I have. I am grateful for her care for me over many decades and the good wisdom, experiences, and lessons she has brought to my life. There are no big regrets.
So, to me that racing car down a slippery slope in my dream was telling me to slow down and be present in this last chapter of my loved one's life. In a sense, get out of the car and walk instead with love and care.