As a loved one struggles with illness, I've been trying to find my place in the situation. What can I do? How can I balance my efforts for my loved one with other family/personal jobs and needs?
I've been trying to establish a good pattern. That's not always easy when you don't always know what to expect, but it seems that we do have a loose-tight pattern that is working now, and for the moment, it is about finessing that pattern to make it even better.
What does the pattern include?
Chores
There's a number of daily chores that keep the home, supplies and care up-to-date and ready for comfort and happiness. I made a visible list of those chores to refer to on the days I provide care.
Positive Routine
A good routine ensures that all personal care efforts and household chores are completed. When the routine is similar each day, there's more time to focus on more meaningful activities.
Food Preparation
Regular food preparation that meets dietary needs and tastes good is an important part of the routine. Inviting presentation of the food and table make meal time an enjoyable time. Also, the help of the Meals on Wheels program is very helpful with regard to my loved ones' independence and the availability of hot meals five days a week.
Visits and Activities
Carving out time to visit and engage in activities that bring joy and happiness is a critical component of the routine that's not always easy since the chores and food prep take a lot of time. As I continue the care, I want to make sure that I carve out good time for these activities.
Reprieve
Every caretaker needs a bit of reprieve so the more we can work together to create a loose-tight schedule of care that also includes time off for those providing the most care, the better. So when I arrive to care, I want to make sure those who live in the home have a chance to engage in activities other than caregiving.
Paperwork and Appointments
Keeping a good calendar and using lead time to complete paperwork and attend appointments are very helpful to all.
Positivity
Just as I was as a teacher, I have to be cautious that I don't forget to focus on the positivity and happiness possible. To be too serious and steadfast can sometimes take you away from the joy possible. As an educator, I would prompt myself to simply stop and observe the children's joy and happiness. I want to do the same with this caretaking too.
I actually enjoy caretaking--I find satsifaction and happiness taking care of others. What's most difficult in situations like this is not knowing exactly what to do, not having what you need to do the work, and not having some kind of pattern to rely on. Now, thanks to the help of the entire caretaking team, we have what we need including needed supplies, a loose-tight pattern, and a better idea about what to do and when to do it. That's very helpful.
My long term vision for this role is to work respectively and collaboratively with others in the caretaking team as well as to provide as much good care, comfort, and happiness as I can for my loved one. This is a good place to be. Onward.