Don't Let Holiday Planning Sever Family Ties

Recently what seemed like a good holiday plan failed due to a number of unknown circumstances and mixed emotions.

As families grow and change, so do the holiday traditions.

When I was a young mom with a too-tight schedule, it was hard for me to understand the multiple viewpoints and schedules with respect to the holidays. I was doing all I could do to keep my family and responsibilities in line so when people didn't agree or follow along, I did get frustrated.

Now as an older mom, my own mom's sage advice rings, "Let them live their lives; everyone will make different choices." My mom has retained her close family ties because she followed that advice. She's never been one to mandate or dictate, and instead she just lets it roll respecting each individual's need to live their own own life.

As a mom of emerging adults, I know this is important. Each of my children is carving their own path, paths both similar and dissimilar to each other. The times when we can all make it, we will celebrate, and when we can't, we'll make our best choices and respect each other's needs and will.

Holiday strife is caused when you just can't get that middle ground, satisfying plan, or agreement, and holiday strife will happen as families grow and change. The key is to let it be, do your best, and not be judgmental, and then, like my mom, you'll retain those ties you cherish. I wish someone had shared this sage advice with me many years ago (but was I ready to listen?).


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