Parenting: Living in a Fraternity

In a house of young men, I sometimes feel like I'm living in a fraternity, and a fraternity is no place for a 50-plus year old woman. What's a mother to do?

After many happy days of summer vacation and the fluid ins and outs of my sons' multiple young men friends, classmates, girl friends, and sports associations, last night was less than peaceful. The round the clock action finally challenged my sleep deprived self, and I realized it's time for some parameters. I'm simply too old to live in a fraternity.

In hindsight, I wish I had set up my house better for young adults with an easy entrance and extension to the "play room" as that would have been a great place for young adults to gather and have fun when they visit. Having the boys and their friends home rather than driving around would have brought a sense of peace. Yet, there's no way, they would always be here when there are so many other places to congregate, explore, and have fun. I know that as I too was young once and did whatever I wanted to do with all that young 20-something energy.

So I guess we're at the point where we are ready for some parameters and promises with regard to being a young adult and living at home. I'll start with these:

  • Don't drink and drive. I've said it a million times and will say it a million more--it's never worth it to drink and drive. In today's world there's Uber, cabs, friends who don't drink, and even your 50-plus-year old mother who can give you a ride if you have a drink too many.
  • Let us know if friends are visiting--we want to be prepared with food and a clean house.
  • Let's work together around what you need and why you need it--we can make the time to do this.
  • Let's support one another in the general personal and family goals--we can be there for one another and help one another with the tasks and vision that exists.
When all is going well, living in a "fraternity" brings a sense of laughter and life, but when the schedules for sleep, guests, chores, and goals are challenged, there's less of a good time and more strife. We can do this and we will, but I think with the parameters above we'll do it a bit better. Onward. 


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