My family wanted to dote on me today. They made me a delicious breakfast and asked me what I wanted to do on this Mother's Day. They are always appreciative of me and treat me very well. I am very fortunate in this regard.
Yet, as they doted on me, I found myself grappling with a typical dilemma of who people want me to be and who I really am. This dilemma began at my earliest days as I presented interests, challenges, and needs different than what people expected of me.
As a young child I grew up in a family that loved sports and valued people who were agile and matched society's popular descriptions of beauty. I didn't match up to either of those values, thus the challenge to be who I am in a world that values other attributes more began. Rather than the agile child, looking back, I was somewhat compromised by what I believe to be asthma. I could never run as fast or hike as well as my siblings, yet I did persevere and find pleasure in hikes, runs, bike rides, and other outdoor adventure, but it was never easy. Further, I didn't have the popular blond-haired, skinny look popular for women at that time, thus I endured many, many put-downs and insults because of my chubby, freckled faced, brown short hair appearance. I was reminded daily that I didn't live up to the world's standard of beauty. That was challenging too.
As a young child, I did have champions, however. There were teachers, relatives, neighbors, bosses, and priests who supported my gifts. I loved to draw, read, write, think, and imagine. At school, these gifts were acknowledged and supported. I was a hard worker, and my bosses praised me for that. I loved taking care of children and found many opportunities to work at nurseries, schools, and babysitting. My childhood friends were analytical and adventurous--that was a great source of comfort and camaraderie too.
Yet, as I grew up, I was stuck, in a large part, by the overarching expectations related to physical beauty and athleticism so embraced by the world around me. Thus I continued to engage in activities related to those two areas such as participating in sports-related adventures, shopping, weight loss obsessions, and more. I was able to focus my interest in education and working with children into my career as a teacher which has been a positive pursuit, but with regard to my great interests in writing, drawing, politics, and analysis. I find that I have always had to steal time for those pursuits as I never truly gave myself permission to make those parts of my life a focal point. However, that steal-away time has become more and more a center of my life as I've aged because I just can't stand living in a world that blocks people from being who they truly are. I don't want a world that values only a few aspects of what it means to be human, but instead I want a world that maximizes the great gifts each of us brings to the world--that, to me, is the kind of world where people flourish with happiness and good will for themselves and for others.
So, right now, with a backwards, self-serving, bigoted, hateful, ignorant President Trump at the helm, it is an exaggeration of the prejudice and limitations I felt as a child and throughout my life. The Trump team only values a certain kind of person--they like you to be wealthy, beautiful (in an old version of what Americans defined as "beauty"), White, and privileged. If you don't fit those look/act-like-them parameters, then they try to manipulate you and work against your rights, privileges, and opportunities. This is oppressive at best.
I know a world where everyone is valued and where we work to support good living for all is the best kind of world we can hope for. I have seen in my own life that when we work for the common good, everyone rises and benefits. Trump suffocates the American people with his outdated, bigoted, narrow scope of what it means to live a good life--we can not endure with this suffocation, we must do better by valuing our own individual talents, interests, and pursuits while also valuing and supporting the individual talents, interests, and pursuits of those we share the planet with. I know deeply that this is the path to good living for all--there is no doubt.
Yet, as they doted on me, I found myself grappling with a typical dilemma of who people want me to be and who I really am. This dilemma began at my earliest days as I presented interests, challenges, and needs different than what people expected of me.
As a young child I grew up in a family that loved sports and valued people who were agile and matched society's popular descriptions of beauty. I didn't match up to either of those values, thus the challenge to be who I am in a world that values other attributes more began. Rather than the agile child, looking back, I was somewhat compromised by what I believe to be asthma. I could never run as fast or hike as well as my siblings, yet I did persevere and find pleasure in hikes, runs, bike rides, and other outdoor adventure, but it was never easy. Further, I didn't have the popular blond-haired, skinny look popular for women at that time, thus I endured many, many put-downs and insults because of my chubby, freckled faced, brown short hair appearance. I was reminded daily that I didn't live up to the world's standard of beauty. That was challenging too.
As a young child, I did have champions, however. There were teachers, relatives, neighbors, bosses, and priests who supported my gifts. I loved to draw, read, write, think, and imagine. At school, these gifts were acknowledged and supported. I was a hard worker, and my bosses praised me for that. I loved taking care of children and found many opportunities to work at nurseries, schools, and babysitting. My childhood friends were analytical and adventurous--that was a great source of comfort and camaraderie too.
Yet, as I grew up, I was stuck, in a large part, by the overarching expectations related to physical beauty and athleticism so embraced by the world around me. Thus I continued to engage in activities related to those two areas such as participating in sports-related adventures, shopping, weight loss obsessions, and more. I was able to focus my interest in education and working with children into my career as a teacher which has been a positive pursuit, but with regard to my great interests in writing, drawing, politics, and analysis. I find that I have always had to steal time for those pursuits as I never truly gave myself permission to make those parts of my life a focal point. However, that steal-away time has become more and more a center of my life as I've aged because I just can't stand living in a world that blocks people from being who they truly are. I don't want a world that values only a few aspects of what it means to be human, but instead I want a world that maximizes the great gifts each of us brings to the world--that, to me, is the kind of world where people flourish with happiness and good will for themselves and for others.
So, right now, with a backwards, self-serving, bigoted, hateful, ignorant President Trump at the helm, it is an exaggeration of the prejudice and limitations I felt as a child and throughout my life. The Trump team only values a certain kind of person--they like you to be wealthy, beautiful (in an old version of what Americans defined as "beauty"), White, and privileged. If you don't fit those look/act-like-them parameters, then they try to manipulate you and work against your rights, privileges, and opportunities. This is oppressive at best.
I know a world where everyone is valued and where we work to support good living for all is the best kind of world we can hope for. I have seen in my own life that when we work for the common good, everyone rises and benefits. Trump suffocates the American people with his outdated, bigoted, narrow scope of what it means to live a good life--we can not endure with this suffocation, we must do better by valuing our own individual talents, interests, and pursuits while also valuing and supporting the individual talents, interests, and pursuits of those we share the planet with. I know deeply that this is the path to good living for all--there is no doubt.