Two to three days a week I care for my mom who has dementia. I have been learning a lot about dementia, and how to care for Mom in ways that bring her joy and help her be as healthy as possible.
Acceptance
There is a journey towards acceptance that happens on this dementia path. For a long time, we knew that mom had cognitive challenges, but only recently have I embraced the fact that she fits tightly into the dementia diagnosis. In some ways, her later stage dementia is easier than the early stages when we didn't know exactly what to do about her mild cognitive decline. Now she needs 24-hour care and special attention all the time, and the challenge is to provide that care and attention in ways that help mom be happy and healthy.
Setting the stage for good care
Over the past year or so, the family and other caretakers have been working to create a good stage for mom's care. That means altering her living space in ways that make the foods, spaces, and objects she needs accessible and helpful. This has been a bit of an experimental path as we try out a number of tools, foods, and caregiving patterns to see what works best. When you do find an approach, food, or tool that helps a lot, it's a real win, and that win is usually signified by mom's smile or sense of greater comfort.
The right tools, foods, and supports
Reading information about dementia and talking to experts has helped us find good tools, foods, and supports to make life better for mom. I'm keeping a mental list of what works and what does not work, and I'm always updating that list as mom's condition changes. What surprises me the most about dementia is how unpredictable it is--every day looks a little different than the day before.
Fortunately in this high-tech age, there are many supports available by way of researching and ordering needed foods, tools, and supports online.
Routine
Creating the best possible caregiver routine is essential. We've been approaching this routine for some time now and have made some good progress. Mom has good daily support from family members and the medical team. Her daily routine includes healthy meals, snacks, personal care, and recreation. Now that her space is set up well for her care, we'll explore more ways to engage mom in ways that are pleasing and healthy for her. Already some have foudn that reading poems, telling jokes, going for a drive, readying for guests, and a walk outside have been positive. I'm sure we'll find other ways to support her as well in the days ahead.
Dementia is a way of life for many families of aging Americans, a way of life that we can make meaningful if we embrace this stage rather than try to fix it. Onward.