Last year one of my sons told me what he needed. I wasn't as respectful as I could be since I thought the need he expressed was somewhat silly. I grew to learn that was a big mistake. I should have taken my son's words and needs seriously. In time, the two of us were able to talk about this event. I came to learn how important it is to listen carefully and take other's needs seriously. Too often, I believe people act as I did. They quickly dismiss needs that may seem silly to them--needs they don't understand. Instead, it is important to listen and respect the needs of our loved ones, and if we don't understand those needs, we can kindly ask questions so that we understand better.
This incident which was hurtful to many at the time taught me a good listen about recognizing and respecting others' needs. This event also made me more open to listening to what people need and why. Now, I want to encourage people to let others what you need because many won't naturally know.
Similarly an event happened in my life recently related to a simple event. I thought nothing of the way I was completing a task. Yet, when a friend pointed out a problem with that method, I could understand why the process was bothersome to others. Since I had not experienced this effort in different ways, I didn't even think that my actions may have been bothersome. I wish those who were upset with the actions had explained their needs more to me so I understood the situaiton better. Sometimes we think people understand all the details of a situation when in truth they may not understand that at all. Rather than assume what others are experiencing or thinking, it is best to ask questions, find out, and then work with greater sensitivity and empathy.
The more we can kindly let people know what we need, the better we will work together and help one another. We can set the stage for this by asking the questions:
- What do you need?
- How can I help?
- Are there any changes we can make to better our work together?