The "Do Not Go There" List

 Recent news stories reminded me of the importance to create the "Do Not Go There" list and update that list often. 

The "Do Not Go There" list is a list of actions that you will not do no matter what. 

This list was very important to me as an educator as there were times when the cacophony of the job made it difficult to make a good decision. Relying on the "Do Not Go There" list helped me to make better decisions along the way. 

Sometimes that "Do Not Go There" list is informed by errors that you've made--errors that skirted behaviors you would never want to commit, times when you came too close to saying or doing something you would never want to do. 

I oftened shared this "List" idea with my children too helping them to see the kinds of actions that truly obstruct and destruct lives--behaviors that some do without thinking or in times of tremendous emotion and behaviors that destroy lives. 

What kinds of behaviors may be on a Do Not Go There List? You may include the following:

• I will never inflict physical harm to another. If I feel the urge to do this, I will remove myself from the situation. 
• I will not attend stressful, problematic events if I don't have the good energy to deal with those events. Instead I'll take a pass at those times. 
• I will not use language that demeans or harms another person. Instead I will stay silent or use uplifting language instead. 
• I will not drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Instead I'll stay where I am or call an Uber. 
• I will not knowingly do anything to hurt someone's character or chances at a good life. Instead I will look for opportunities to help others. 
• If I see someone in danger, I will speak up and act even if it is uncomforable or not welcome. I don't want to sit silently by while someone hurts themselves or others. 

For everyone, their "Do Not Go There" list will be different. For example, in recent times we've seen many stories of police officers harming and ending lives needlessly--would this have happened if those officers had clearly made a "Do Not Go There List" of behaviors they will never engage in. 

For every profession and way of living, there are dangers to avoid. For young people, we know that emotional outbursts can lead to dangerous and destructive acts--they have to be aware that this can happen. This can happen to older people too. 

The more we can avoid the kinds of behaviors that lead us down paths that harm ourselves and others, the better. That is why I think creating the "Do Not Go There List" is a powerful tool in this regard.