I talked to a friend the other day who was struggling with a situation that he had created years ago. Essentially, my friend engaged in a less-than-positive approach to a problem. Now, many years later, he was experiencing the same less-than-positive approach from a different perspective. I could sense his remorse as he felt the painful ramifications of this approach. Did my friend have bad intentions with his initial choices? Not at all--he was choosing based on his best intelligence at the time, but now, many years later, he clearly was noticing the error of his ways.
Like most people, I've had the same experience. I remember a time when I came on strong with my own children. In hindsight, there were multiple better choices I could have made in the situation, but like my friend, I was acting with my best knowledge at the time. Now, years later, I've been reminded of that misstep, and rather than defend my less-than-optimal actions, I simply say, "You can do it better than me--I erred with my response. While that wasn't my intent, I can see now it was not the best decision."
In time, we often learn the errors of our ways. But we have to be compassionate and forgiving to ourselves since in most cases we act with good intention with the best information we have at the moment. As an educator that happens all the time. Education, like many professions, holds endless potential for betterment. So what you do one year may prove to be not as good as what you learn to do later on--as an educator you are always improving your craft. The same is true for parenting--if you care, you get better and better which means that when you look back at some of your early parenting choices, you will grimace and feel some remorse.
Often in life, our errors come full circle, and we experience the errors we made from different perspectives, perspectives that help us undertand our errors more and gain empathy for those who are errors impacted. As with my friend's situation, I know that he sees his past actions in a new light now that he's experiencing similar decisions from a different perspective. That's happened to all of us--it is how we learn and get better if we allow that to happen.