Some time ago I left a loved one's home and thought, What if this is our last day together? Today before I visit my loved one, I want to think about that. I know that it's a grim thought, but it is a thought that leads me in positive ways. I don't want to regret what I could have done for my loved one. Instead I want to do what I know is positive today--I want to bring the hugs, the smiles, the loving, patient words and the kind of care I know makes a difference.
For almost two years now, I've had a steady routine of visiting a loved one who is not well. It has been a tough emotional journey that started with a lot of unknowns. I've learned a lot about caring for my loved one over the past couple of years thanks to many, many resources including the expertise of health and human service professionals, family members, related articles and some trial and error too. Understanding the landscape of what it takes to be a good care taker for people at the last stages of life has made the care taking easier and more rewarding too. During the past two years, we've also created an environment that lends itself to good care.
I've also learned to be more patient, flexible and accepting of the great mystery that the end stages of life bring. We rarely know exactly how someone's last years will be, and this mystery means that there's no real roadmap for navigating this chapter in life. So, for a large part, the best you can do depends on a positive mindset, willingness to learn and a commitment to being present and responsive to the situation at hand.
So today with as much good energy and attitude as possible, I want to do the best that I can for my loved one. I don't want to have any regrets, and I also want to provide the kind of love and care I hope I'll receive when I'm at a similar stage of life hopefully many years from now. Onward.