As more of an idealist than a realist, I often don't see a disappointment coming until it hits me smack in the face, and that hurts. In most cases, I prefer to believe that good will trump the bad, yet sometimes disappointments come our way. Recently I had one of those disappointments. There was little doubt it was coming. A more realistic friend warned me, but I didn't listen. I held out hope that the tide would change and I'd be happily surprised rather than woefully disappointed, but my friend was right. I was disappointed. My idealistic hopes were not met.
How does one deal with a disappointment? What do you do?
First, count your blessings. In no way can I complain since I have much to be grateful for.
Next, think about the situation. Was there anything you could have done to prevent this disappointment. With the exception of expecting the disappointment, I don't think I could have done anything to prevent it. This arena of life has disappointed me far too often in the recent past, and no matter how many strategies I've tried to avert the disappointing outcome, that's what happens. I believe it was inevitable.
I believe the roots of this disappointment go deep, and much of what caused the disappointing events to happen is likely beyond what I know and understand. Someday I may understand it or like a past disappointment I experienced, I may never really know what caused this.
So what to do? I read a large number of articles about similar disappointments. The advice included these actions:
- Watch your words, speak kindly and respectfully
- Be wary of trusting those that disappoint you time and again--they're likely not ready or willing to support you.
- Trust in your values and perspective--don't change who you are just because some don't agree. If you review your values and still believe strongly in what you've chosen, then stick with it.
- Look elsewhere for the support, teamwork, and encouragement you need and are willing to give.