I read a few stories in the news about high school seniors who won countless awards and earned gobs of money in college scholarships. These are superlative stories--people who reach unimagineable heights in particular spheres of life. In general, we are wowed by stories like this, but do stories like this serve us well?
What is a superlative?
Superlative stories can inspire, but they can also defeat individuals. For example, a high school freshman who has the smarts and support to follow in the footsteps of those high achieving high school seniors, may find their story inspiring and use the story as a catalyst for their own pursuit with regard to college entry and scholarship. On the other hand, a parent may use a story like that in a defeating way with another high school freshmen by simply saying, "You should do what that kid did!" That kind of prompt without the research that goes along with it simply becomes a too-high goal to reach for your average high school freshman--few to none have the credentials, time, knowledge, or ability to reach such a heigh.
The news is full of superlative stories which are interesting, but are those stories helpful and should superlative stories be the sole objective of the news? What if we had more good-living stories instead--stories about everyday people that work together to live their best lives. Would that inspire greater good in the culture more than the most-often unreachable superlative stories.
Long ago as an educator, I would often attend a specific awards event. Each year the children who had the most privilege with respect to financial wealth, parental support, and few to no true challenges, received all the rewards. I watched the shoulders of the other kids who did their best every day despite the multitude of challenges they faced shrink as those with privilege received reward after reward. I suggested that they broaden the types of awards given so that every child had something attainable to reach for, be recognized for, and perhaps invest in during the years to come. My suggestion was dismissed by the leader of that group, a woman who I felt was more interested in her own fame and gain than the children she was in charge of.
When we find ways to recognize strengths within people, we inspire them to build on those strengths in meaningful ways. I remember when I was young, I was invited to take part in the city art festival. I loved drawing, and that invitation, in part, inspired me to continue to pursue artistic endeavor in meaningful ways. I guess you could say that was, in some ways, a superlative result since I was chosen because of a drawing I created, but it was a superlative that recognized something in me that I could build on, and something that didn't necessarily defeat others.
Also, I'm in favor of superlatives with respect to the gifted individuals that exist. We have to recognize and acknowledge the exceptional gifts that some have and promote their talent, intelligence, and skill as those individuals' gifts have the potential to make this a better world with more opportunity and good living for all. What if no one recognized the exceptional talents, vision, and creativity of Amanda Gorman--think of the loss that would be.
With regard to superlatives, we have to think carefully about how we use them and the role they play. To persistently hold up those who are exceptional as models to follow without respect for everyday people's strengths, resilience, talents, collaboration, and contribution is to defeat people, but to not recognize those superlative gifts, is to deny the world of what those gifts bring to all of us. There's a place for superlatives, but there needs to be room for other kinds of stories too including the stories of awesome collaboration, tremendous perseverance, life changing creativity, and all kinds of good living.
I personally don't care if my loved ones are the best at anything, but I do care that they are good people who live their best lives, lives that help others and contribute to a positive world. I'm more interested in who we can be on our own and together in positive, life enriching ways. Onward.