As I did a bit of prep for this summer's informal beach meet-up reunion, I thought about reunions in general. Reunions can be both comfortable and uncomfortable. For these reasons some attend reunions and some don't attend reunions. Do you go? If so, why? If not, why not?
Several years ago after a number of family-related deaths, one cousin said, "We shouldn't just catch up with one another at funerals and wakes." That comment struck home with me, and that's why I promoted an idea so many relatives had mentioned before to plan a family reunion. I looked into many ways to do this and considered the needs and interests of my very large extended family. Then I decided to use an idea many family members had expressed which was a beach meet-up. In general, most of our family members enjoy the beach and have many great memories of the beach. Also many of our relatives live near the beach so a beach meet-up was a doable idea that wouldn't entail a lot of money or travel for many relatives.
Family members and I decided on the last Saturday in July because that coordinated with some relatives' vacation schedules and also didn't interfere with the school schedule. I let family members know about it on our Family History Facebook page and via email and conversations. The first year many family members and friends showed up, yet the long walk down many stairs and along a steep beach edge prohibited some family members from attending. That's why we chose a more accessible beach for the second year of the reunion--that beach, while a bit further away from our relatives' beach homes, made it possible for all relatives and friends to meet-up if they wanted to. This year, we'll meet up at the same beach.
Family reunions can be difficult because for starters you haven't connected with those family members for a long time. What will you say? How will you get along with everyone? The good news is that everyone feels the same way. Distance and time do create an element of strangeness, yet as soon as we started talking about some of the people and events we have in common, the trepidations melted away.
Also, I always call the beach, the great equalizer because there's something for everyone at the beach. You can take a walk, swim, surf, play a beach game, hike along the beach, read a book, enjoy a picnic, converse, and share special drinks and treats. Also, you may come for a short time or stay the whole day, and you can plan to extend the event with intimate or group post-beach dinner, party, bike ride, or other event or adventure.
In addition, I want my children to experience my extended family in positive ways that represent our long held family warmth and culture. Via reunion events such as holiday celebrations, beach meet-ups, family celebrations, and hiking weekends, my children get to experience the rich culture of our family, a culture that is the product of the hard work, commitment, care, and creativity of generations. As I study our family history, I see that the roots of our most beloved traditions, events, and activities are rooted deeply in time.
Years ago when I attended a college reunion, I thought a lot about the meaning of the event, and decided that I'd bring a sense of curiosity with me, the kind of curiousity that prompted me to learn about my classmates' lives since we studied and lived together on that college campus many years ago. That sense of curiosity was wonderful as I did learn a lot about my classmates' lives--in general, almost everyone had some happy highlights to share as well as some significant challenges. While our journeys were different, the fact that those journeys were speckled with highs and lows was not different.
Before writing this post, I was not going to attend another reunion I was invited to as that reunion brought about too much angst, but as I write, I realize that all reunions bring some angst as well as opportunity. The opportunity to thank old friends, acknowledge the good, and renew relationships in positive, relevant, and possibly more mature ways.
Reunions are just what the word says. Reunions are a chance to reconnect in meaningful, positive ways.
What kinds of reunions will you plan this year? What will you include in those reunions? Why are these reunions important to you and how can they serve to reboot your life in some positive ways? I'll be thinking about these questions as I plan and take part in a number of family, friend, and school reunions in the days ahead. Onward.