Sometimes in life we're pulled in multiple directions when it comes to caring for others. You may feel the pull from many angles, and you have to decide who will get the attention and who will have to wait. I remember witnessing that as a child when my mom chose who to care for. She wanted to help everyone, but like all of us, she wasn't super human so she constantly made choices about who got the attention and who didn't.
I'm sure as I make similar choices, I don't always make those choices in just right ways--I'm sure there are times when people think, why isn't she choosing me this time or why was I left out? Yet, like most people, I try my best to be fair when it comes to time and attention--I try to be there when people need me, and not worry when people are happily living their lives without great need.
How do you decide who gets the attention and who doesn't?
I lean on my religious upbringing as a starter with the words, "Honor thy father and mother." My parents gave me a lot in life, and I believe it's our responsibility to care well by our parents and older relatives.
Next, I take the statement, "Care for your own," seriously as I care for my husband, children, and other relatives. I believe we have to do what we can to care for our own families.
Then there's the greater community. This is where it gets more complicated particularly when you live in densely populated areas. The opportunity to give is great and you're always choosing between one person or event and another. I believe the best way to make sense of this is to consider these questions.
First, know and be available to your neighbors. You don't have to be best friends with your neighbors, but you should have a friendly connection that serves each other well in times of need. While Juneteenth is the celebration of the emancipation of those enslaved in the United States, I believe the holiday can also serve as an opportunity to build community in your neighborhoods with block parties, ice cream socials, neighborhood games, and more. We can honor the freedom of those enslaved as well as build community. That's one way to reach out to neighbors in a friendly, connection-building way. Of course, you can reach out in many other ways too. Building a positive community where you live is an important priority when it comes to care.
Then as far as the greater community, it's important to consider your talents, abilities, interests, and ability to serve. For me, I am greatly interested in how our community, state, and country is governed. I am a big fan of democracy and freedom--I want people to have voice and choice in responsible ways, and I want us to come together to make laws and policies that promote the best lives possible for all. Because of that, I contribute to those that govern with my energy, dollars, and advocacy. In the past, I served the community as an educator, and I hope to serve the greater community in additional ways in the future when my immediate family obligations become less.
Who we care for and how we care for them matters when it comes to good living. A lot of the most important ways to care for others is not glitze or note worthy, but instead rather mundane and routine. Good care relies on a foundation of steady routines and service to one another in ways that lift us up and enrich lives. Today I'll think more about that as I complete a large number or routine jobs that help my loved ones and me to live good lives. Onward.