Over time in my life, friendships have been interrupted now and then.
I grew up in a home that valued family over friendship. We had a very large extended family, and mostly there wasn't the extra time or money to entertain and develop multiple friendships. However spending lots of time with that big family made friendship come easily, and I have enjoyed many good friends over time.
That said, there have been interruptions in friendship. With each interruption there has been pain, reflection, and learning.
One of my earliest friends was not a favorite of my mom, yet I really liked this friend. In hindsight the friend had a lot of qualities that are similar to who I am, but less similar to my mom. It was a short lived friendship since the friend moved away.
Later three wonderful friends came into my life unexpectedly on a fall afternoon. At the time, my two best friends had entered a new school, and I was a bit friendless. These friends were close friends for a long, long time. I lost touch with one of the three through natural circumstances, and have remained close to the other two. Yet during our 50-year friendship, there have been interruptions due to work, where we live, and family needs, yet the friendship remained.
There was an interruption with a good college friend, an interruption that remained yet when I see her I am always happy to hear about her family. We naturally grew apart due to circumstances and distance.
There have been a few friends who really disappointed me. People I valued, trusted, and shared a lot with who essentially turned their backs on me. This has only happened on a couple of occasions, and both times the events were very, very painful. Why did they turn their backs on me? I think it had a lot to do with a value divide between us--what they value and I value are different.
I have also disappointed friends. In my younger years, I really never embraced the concept of individual paths and the serendipity of life. I had a hard time being empathetic and recognizing that we're all called in different ways to live life. Rather than valuing and accepting differences back then, I saw differences as unfair. In some circumstances, I felt sorry for myself that I didn't have what others had, and at other times, I felt sorry for others that they didn't have what I had. I've changed my perspective so much in this regard, and now see each individual as unique and recognize that the circumstances and serendipity of life shape us, and if we're open to each others' differences, we live a much richer and fuller life. I hope that this is a message I can share with my own children so they hold on to their diversity of friendships and learn to embrace and enjoy the different paths their friends take.
As I grow older I have a greater sense and value of friendship. I understand friendship better and what it means to be a good friend. I look forward to celebrating my friends' triumphs, and I also recognize that friendship is a two-way street where each person contributes respect, support, forgiveness, and care to one another.
As when I was little, my best friends remain my family members and a few others whom I enjoy good relationships with. Friendship is a valuable commodity in life, and we do well by our children and those we love to foster this gift--one that's precious and makes life all the better.
What has your experience of friendship been? Who are the friends you've held on to throughout life, and who are those you've lost due to natural circumstances or unfortunate events and error? What advice do you have on friendship, and how would you forward that advice to those you care for in time? I'm thinking about this.
I grew up in a home that valued family over friendship. We had a very large extended family, and mostly there wasn't the extra time or money to entertain and develop multiple friendships. However spending lots of time with that big family made friendship come easily, and I have enjoyed many good friends over time.
That said, there have been interruptions in friendship. With each interruption there has been pain, reflection, and learning.
One of my earliest friends was not a favorite of my mom, yet I really liked this friend. In hindsight the friend had a lot of qualities that are similar to who I am, but less similar to my mom. It was a short lived friendship since the friend moved away.
Later three wonderful friends came into my life unexpectedly on a fall afternoon. At the time, my two best friends had entered a new school, and I was a bit friendless. These friends were close friends for a long, long time. I lost touch with one of the three through natural circumstances, and have remained close to the other two. Yet during our 50-year friendship, there have been interruptions due to work, where we live, and family needs, yet the friendship remained.
There was an interruption with a good college friend, an interruption that remained yet when I see her I am always happy to hear about her family. We naturally grew apart due to circumstances and distance.
There have been a few friends who really disappointed me. People I valued, trusted, and shared a lot with who essentially turned their backs on me. This has only happened on a couple of occasions, and both times the events were very, very painful. Why did they turn their backs on me? I think it had a lot to do with a value divide between us--what they value and I value are different.
I have also disappointed friends. In my younger years, I really never embraced the concept of individual paths and the serendipity of life. I had a hard time being empathetic and recognizing that we're all called in different ways to live life. Rather than valuing and accepting differences back then, I saw differences as unfair. In some circumstances, I felt sorry for myself that I didn't have what others had, and at other times, I felt sorry for others that they didn't have what I had. I've changed my perspective so much in this regard, and now see each individual as unique and recognize that the circumstances and serendipity of life shape us, and if we're open to each others' differences, we live a much richer and fuller life. I hope that this is a message I can share with my own children so they hold on to their diversity of friendships and learn to embrace and enjoy the different paths their friends take.
As I grow older I have a greater sense and value of friendship. I understand friendship better and what it means to be a good friend. I look forward to celebrating my friends' triumphs, and I also recognize that friendship is a two-way street where each person contributes respect, support, forgiveness, and care to one another.
As when I was little, my best friends remain my family members and a few others whom I enjoy good relationships with. Friendship is a valuable commodity in life, and we do well by our children and those we love to foster this gift--one that's precious and makes life all the better.
What has your experience of friendship been? Who are the friends you've held on to throughout life, and who are those you've lost due to natural circumstances or unfortunate events and error? What advice do you have on friendship, and how would you forward that advice to those you care for in time? I'm thinking about this.