As I help my third son prepare to embark on his college career, I am mindful of all the paperwork and preparation that goes into making a good start.
I also remember well my first days on the college campus--days as a first generation college student. While most of the coeds were dressed for the approximately 98 degree weather, I wore exactly what I imagined college students wore on their first stay, a pair of green wool pants, a long sleeved plaid shirt, and brown leather shoes. Obviously I had no idea of what to expect and neither did my parents. Of course these were days well before the Internet and ready access to almost anything you want to know. And the college I went to supplied lots of helpful information to make the transition welcoming.
Many parents believe their newly graduated senior is ready to navigate the college transition on their own, but I know this isn't true. When parents and other loved ones get involved in helpful ways it can truly help your child make a good start on his/her college adventure. I recommend the following:
I also remember well my first days on the college campus--days as a first generation college student. While most of the coeds were dressed for the approximately 98 degree weather, I wore exactly what I imagined college students wore on their first stay, a pair of green wool pants, a long sleeved plaid shirt, and brown leather shoes. Obviously I had no idea of what to expect and neither did my parents. Of course these were days well before the Internet and ready access to almost anything you want to know. And the college I went to supplied lots of helpful information to make the transition welcoming.
Many parents believe their newly graduated senior is ready to navigate the college transition on their own, but I know this isn't true. When parents and other loved ones get involved in helpful ways it can truly help your child make a good start on his/her college adventure. I recommend the following:
- Meet with your child regularly to review the college emails and college online accounts.
- Study the tuition bill carefully, read any financial aid correspondence you get, and don't be afraid to reach out to the college during the summer months with questions.
- Pay attention to health care forms and costs--you may end up paying extra if you don't carefully look at this information.
- If your child has work-study or will be looking for a job, a good time to research the jobs available and apply is during the summer months. Look at the online employment available on the college website.
- Set up a bank account that both you and your child can access. I know this isn't necessary for all, but for many this is helpful as you guide your child to use his/her funds well and also help out if and when needed.
- Buy the necessary sheets and bed spread--many college beds are xtra long. I don't think sheet services are a good idea as it's extra work and it's good for your child to learn to do laundry. Don't invest in too much. If your child is short of necessary items, you can always ship those items to his or her school via Amazon or another company.
- It's cheaper, however, to buy a few school supplies at home or to collect them around your house.
- A good computer is essential--that's an investment that will pay off in dividends. I'm still a fan of the MacBook, however, it's important for you and your child to research what he/she will need for their program of study.
- Look at the important college dates and events. Make your travel plans and reservations early to save money. Plan ahead and try to attend available parent meetings and family weekends-the information provided at the start of your child's college career will really help you and your child to navigate their studies so that they learn what they want to learn, acquire needed internships, study abroad if desired, and take advantage of the special programs and opportunities the college has to offer. A shared calendar might be a good way to include these important events.
- Make your child's college experience your own by planning to visit now and then, visit local restaurants and places of interest together.
- It's a good idea to send your child off with a few momentos of home such a picture frame with pictures of memorable events and potentially a nice letter for them to open up on the first day or night when they have a bit of extra time and perhaps homesickness too.
- Don't forget to share the nasty stories of college life. While college is awesome, there are pitfalls too. Warn them about drinking too much; tell the stories of fraternity or college-related deaths--senseless deaths that occurred because no one took the needed responsibility to take care of themselves or others, foolish risks such as jumping out windows, off roofs, or into uncharted water, unwanted sexual advances, and the danger of being alone late at night in unlit and unpopulated places. While college is lots of fun, it's important to be safe.
- Remind your children to be open minded--this is the chance of a lifetime to learn about other people and yourself. The more open you are to new people and experiences, the better experience you will have.
- Encourage them to seek out the help they need through the myriad of college services that exist.
- Don't hesitate to help your child by reviewing his or her essays once in a while to look for incorrect grammar or typos, and yes, make sure they call you regularly--a once a week call is a good idea to keep track of what your child is doing and to openly hear about his/her experience.
- Invite their enthusiasm and excitement. Yes, you might feel jealous as you work hard to help your child afford such a wonderful experience, but remember that a good college experience creates a strong foundation for future success and happiness.
- Encourage your child to join at least one club or sports activity to find a small group within the larger college atmosphere. Your child will find his/her friends through their interests.
College is a giant step for most students. It's a very exciting time, a time that can be challenging too especially in the early days as everyone tries to figure out what's going on. Join your child in this journey in a way that's helpful and also in a way that respects their independence too.