We have to take the time to review relationships we have with people.
For example as your children grow and become more independent, you have to think about that relationship. There's big differences in how you relate to young children, teens, and adult children, and to audit the changing relationships you have with your children or anyone else is to think about what that relationship needs to develop and thrive in real time.
Typically these audits are sparked by a disagreement or a conflict, big or small. Something happens that makes you analyze the relationship with questions: Who are we together? Who are we apart? What can we do for each other to support our relationship and our individual pursuits and interests?
It's good to audit a relationship on your own and then with the person you are relating to--one review without the other is not as powerful or promising, but when you engage in both audits, it's likely you'll find ways to revise and refine developing relationships making those relationships stronger and more meaningful.
As I think of relationship audits, I'm thinking that the following questions may be helpful?
- Why do I want this person in my life?
- What does this person do for my life?
- What do I do for this person's life?
- What do we enjoy together?
- How and when do we best communicate?
- What routines and special events support this relationship?
- What challenges does this relationship face on a regular basis and once in a while?
- How do I envision this relationship going forward?
- What changes need to be made to strengthen the relationship?
Reflection in any sphere is a powerful way to begin promising change, creativity, or direction. Reflection without real-time action is not positive--it takes thinking and doing to create the energy and action an audit reveals.