Soon I'll take my youngest son to college.
It is a bittersweet time.
He had a great high school career with many friends, wonderful teachers, coaches, and mentors, terrific sports teams, and lots of good times. It's difficult to move on from such a positive experience.
He's been a great son at home too--helpful, kind, caring, collaborative. There's been few moments of worry or concern. He profited from the watching his two older brothers grow up.
He's had lots of wonderful support at school, in the neighborhood and community, and with our extended family. He's been surrounded by many who care for him and have contributed to his well being.
Now he's off to a new adventure in a place that he doesn't know well. In fact, I haven't even explored the college yet since it was his dad that took him there for the visit and interview. He knows a handful of students there and we have some family members nearby, but, in general, this will be a very new experience for him with lots of new challenges.
As I think of this, I want to do the following to help him with the transition.
Pack the Essentials
I learned from my other sons that when it comes to packing for college, less is more. He'll need some study supplies, comfortable clothes that range from warm weather to cold weather clothes, bed linens, blankets, and pillows, and self-care supplies including towels, soap, detergent, toothpaste and so on.
Pictures
It's important to bring a few memorable photos from home to look back on when the chips are down, and having been a college student, I know that there are both good and bad times at college as it's an intense learning/living time.
Advice
I will share the following advice:
- Be positive and open minded--college is a great time to meet all kinds of people from all kinds of places. Have an open mind and "seek the story in the stranger" each time you meet a new person.
- Stay ahead of your studies and learn. Keep a list of what you have to do and tackle some of it each day--college is a great opportunity to learn a lot, grow your mind, and be intellectually curious.
- Explore the campus. Try out all parts of the campus. Study in many places, go to lots of events, explore at different times of the day.
- Be safe. Don't be alone in isolated, unsafe areas at night. Don't engage in risky behavior with drugs, alcohol, sex, or adventures. Every year some college students die due to risky behavior of drinking too much, taking drugs, unsafe sex, or dangerous adventures.
- Keep others safe. It's always better to call the police or ambulance if you see another student in trouble--better safe than sorry. So many frat party deaths and rapes occur because no one made the call to authorities to report unsafe behavior. It's every college student's job to keep each other safe.
- Do your best. If you do your best, you won't have regrets--make the most of this wonderful opportunity.
- Take advantage of college services: There are many services that will help students at college and don't be afraid to seek those services out if you need help with studies, writing, social issues, financial concerns, or health needs.
- Everyone won't be your friend. You're not going to like everyone, but you can respect and be courteous and kind to everyone. Find friends that you truly enjoy spending time with.
- Call home. Plan to call home at least once a week to share stories, questions, and ideas with family members. We're excited about your experience and want to share in it as appropriate.
College is usually a transformative event for young adults--it's a great opportunity to develop in positive and life enriching ways. I'll devote the next few days to helping my son ready for this extraordinary opportunity--an opportunity my husband and I value and support.