I've visited with a number of friends and family members in the past month, and I've been surprisingly reminded that the lives we lead are more similar than different. For most of us there was a similar pattern of growing up in loving, but imperfect, families, going to school, meeting and nurturing friendships, getting involved in relationships, having children, working, and engaging in hobbies. And now after many years, we're at the far end of that pattern looking back on the years and thinking about what mattered--what made a positive difference.
Looking back, I do regret the times I got tangled up in the details of what made our paths different. Rather than meeting difference with curiosity sometimes I would become jealous, insecure, or annoyed. Now at this far view, I realize that those differences in time amount to so much less than what brings us together and makes us similar. The differences in work, family, home, children, enjoyment, opportunity, and challenge have a way of mostly evening out in the end. Yes, of course, there are some dramatic differences, but we're all dealing with a similar amount of time, fate, and opportunity--where some may have more others may have less, but in the end, no one has it all and no one is without any strengths or opportunities.
As I watch my own children begin to navigate busy years of their personal and professional lives, I want to keep a focus on the fact that the differences, in general, are minor details in the story of life while the commonalities are the important factors. Similarities that include loved ones, professional choices, health, and fun matter. It matters most that you work to build your best possible life, a life that's true to you and also a life that contributes to others. I believe that equation mostly equals happiness.
That equation will look different for everyone--it will never be a summation of same details, but as I meet with friends old and new, the commonality of choosing to develop strong family/friend ties, invest in good work, contribute to others, and live a healthy, happy life seem to overshadow the details including size of home, number of children, geographical location, and money in the bank. How we live is more important than the details of what exactly we have or do.
Life for most of us happens along a fairly predictable pattern, and to embrace that pattern with care for self and others is a positive way to live, a direction I want to think about today as I ready for the start of 2019.
Looking back, I do regret the times I got tangled up in the details of what made our paths different. Rather than meeting difference with curiosity sometimes I would become jealous, insecure, or annoyed. Now at this far view, I realize that those differences in time amount to so much less than what brings us together and makes us similar. The differences in work, family, home, children, enjoyment, opportunity, and challenge have a way of mostly evening out in the end. Yes, of course, there are some dramatic differences, but we're all dealing with a similar amount of time, fate, and opportunity--where some may have more others may have less, but in the end, no one has it all and no one is without any strengths or opportunities.
As I watch my own children begin to navigate busy years of their personal and professional lives, I want to keep a focus on the fact that the differences, in general, are minor details in the story of life while the commonalities are the important factors. Similarities that include loved ones, professional choices, health, and fun matter. It matters most that you work to build your best possible life, a life that's true to you and also a life that contributes to others. I believe that equation mostly equals happiness.
That equation will look different for everyone--it will never be a summation of same details, but as I meet with friends old and new, the commonality of choosing to develop strong family/friend ties, invest in good work, contribute to others, and live a healthy, happy life seem to overshadow the details including size of home, number of children, geographical location, and money in the bank. How we live is more important than the details of what exactly we have or do.
Life for most of us happens along a fairly predictable pattern, and to embrace that pattern with care for self and others is a positive way to live, a direction I want to think about today as I ready for the start of 2019.