A dilemma that parents may face at any time in their parenting lives is how much control they have over a situation. A friend shared a story about a family with an ill son, and the challenge that created for his parents. They only have so much control in the situation, and that's not easy.
In my own life as a child, sibling, and parent, there have been situations where I have a lot of control, and situations where there is little to no control--situations when what's happening is not what I would choose, but because I have little to no say, I just have to stand by and watch what comes of it.
Having no control over a situation is difficult especially when you think a situation could be handled better. In cases like these, you have to consult the research and wisdom of friends and family members, then decide how you will act. Will you push your agenda? Will you work for compromise? Will you offer your help, and then wait to see if that's accepted? Or will back away from the situation altogether?
When I was young, I was faced with a situation like this. I did all that could to make change. I acted. I was outspoken. I did the research, and then there came a breaking point when I decided to back off completely. Essentially there was no support for my point of view or actions. I had to stand at the sideline for the rest of the long term event. I did everything in my power to make change, and I was unsuccessful. I turned my energy elsewhere and was at peace as I felt there was nothing more I could do.
As I write about this, I believe that the key is to do what you can do, and then be at peace with that. None of us are superhuman and none of us has the solution for every situation. Sometimes the best we can do is not get in the way. On the other hand, sometimes we have exactly what is needed, and we can be of help too. Those situations are very gratifying.
I think this quandary of control vs. no control is one that gets greater as life moves on and your connections increase. As you build your life, you find situations where you can be very helpful and positive, and situations where you simply don't have what's needed at all. And of course, lots of situations in between where you can help in some ways, but not in other ways.
When questions of control occur, it causes you to rethink your decisions and your path. Could you make change to better the path or decisions, or should you stay the course you're currently on?
Bottom line is that to remain loving, open-minded, and willing to do your part creates positivity. You may not have the solution, but you don't have to sever ties over situations like this. Loving acceptance of what you cannot change is a better choice.
In my own life as a child, sibling, and parent, there have been situations where I have a lot of control, and situations where there is little to no control--situations when what's happening is not what I would choose, but because I have little to no say, I just have to stand by and watch what comes of it.
Having no control over a situation is difficult especially when you think a situation could be handled better. In cases like these, you have to consult the research and wisdom of friends and family members, then decide how you will act. Will you push your agenda? Will you work for compromise? Will you offer your help, and then wait to see if that's accepted? Or will back away from the situation altogether?
When I was young, I was faced with a situation like this. I did all that could to make change. I acted. I was outspoken. I did the research, and then there came a breaking point when I decided to back off completely. Essentially there was no support for my point of view or actions. I had to stand at the sideline for the rest of the long term event. I did everything in my power to make change, and I was unsuccessful. I turned my energy elsewhere and was at peace as I felt there was nothing more I could do.
As I write about this, I believe that the key is to do what you can do, and then be at peace with that. None of us are superhuman and none of us has the solution for every situation. Sometimes the best we can do is not get in the way. On the other hand, sometimes we have exactly what is needed, and we can be of help too. Those situations are very gratifying.
I think this quandary of control vs. no control is one that gets greater as life moves on and your connections increase. As you build your life, you find situations where you can be very helpful and positive, and situations where you simply don't have what's needed at all. And of course, lots of situations in between where you can help in some ways, but not in other ways.
When questions of control occur, it causes you to rethink your decisions and your path. Could you make change to better the path or decisions, or should you stay the course you're currently on?
Bottom line is that to remain loving, open-minded, and willing to do your part creates positivity. You may not have the solution, but you don't have to sever ties over situations like this. Loving acceptance of what you cannot change is a better choice.