My husband is reading Blue Zones, a book about longevity. In part, the book talks about the importance of social connections, and in this season of travel and vacations, I'm thinking about those social relations--how do we deepen family and friendship connections in ways that are positive, meaningful, and doable in our busy, ever changing lives.
I have to start this post with the realization that I'm sad for relationships that I've lost overtime, and as I think back to so many good times I have had with so many friends and family members, the greatest reason for break-ups has been time, commitment, and place. These relationships were challenged by distance, resources, and obligations. Some of the people I enjoyed spending time with so often when I was young simply live far away from me and have very different schedules than me. Further most people I know have very large and ever increasing families--this alone creates challenge to staying close and in touch. And of course, there's limits on time and money that can prevent us from seeing old friends and distant family members often.
As I think back to my parents' lives when they were my age, I realize that their circles were smaller and closer. Of course that was time before social media and ease of transportation that exists today. We got together with same family members often and didn't travel very far. Today family members and friends are traveling all over the world all the time, and our extended families have grown exponentially. This creates the ebb and flow of family/friend tides.
How does one react in light of this surf--how do we ride the waves of family/friend connections in this time of tremendous interconnectivity online and off. Most of us don't have the resources to spend steady time with all the people we have been close to over time often. The best we can do is to put aside time to be with these people in real time now and then. It's also likely that we'll have small circles of friends and family members that we rely on and spend considerable time with--the people that make up our extended family. It's important to give space to changing patterns of family and friends as it's expected that we'll drift apart for a large array of reasons that don't mean we care less for one another, but instead that life's interests, challenges, and needs have distanced us. That happens.
Social media gives us the ability to stay abreast of what's happening to our large array of friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances, and we all have to decide how we want to interact there. For some little to no social media contact is best, and for others the more the merrier. I believe that's an individual choice, and there's no one way to navigate that amorphous medium.
For me, this is mostly a time to strengthen close family ties and support events that recognize and strengthen close friendships too. I wish I had the time, money, and ability to stay close to all the wonderful people I've interacted with throughout my life, but that's impossible, so I'll do what I can to support them by recognizing their good fortune and showing compassion and support during the trials they experience too. It's important to welcome new people into your life as well as time goes on. Some of the new people I've befriended in the last few years have brought new insights, ideas, warmth, and liveliness into my life--they've introduced me to new worlds and have provided support that makes life better for me at this time. This is good too.
I guess we have to ride the waves of life by welcoming new people and being grateful for the good people throughout time that have journeyed with us. To move on does not mean that you forget, but instead, that it's time to embrace a new path, a path built upon the strength of old times, good people, positive experiences, and the lessons learned from not-so-positive experiences too. There will always be the ebb and flow of family/friend relationships and we accept this as a normal aspect of life, we will be better for it. Onward.
I have to start this post with the realization that I'm sad for relationships that I've lost overtime, and as I think back to so many good times I have had with so many friends and family members, the greatest reason for break-ups has been time, commitment, and place. These relationships were challenged by distance, resources, and obligations. Some of the people I enjoyed spending time with so often when I was young simply live far away from me and have very different schedules than me. Further most people I know have very large and ever increasing families--this alone creates challenge to staying close and in touch. And of course, there's limits on time and money that can prevent us from seeing old friends and distant family members often.
As I think back to my parents' lives when they were my age, I realize that their circles were smaller and closer. Of course that was time before social media and ease of transportation that exists today. We got together with same family members often and didn't travel very far. Today family members and friends are traveling all over the world all the time, and our extended families have grown exponentially. This creates the ebb and flow of family/friend tides.
How does one react in light of this surf--how do we ride the waves of family/friend connections in this time of tremendous interconnectivity online and off. Most of us don't have the resources to spend steady time with all the people we have been close to over time often. The best we can do is to put aside time to be with these people in real time now and then. It's also likely that we'll have small circles of friends and family members that we rely on and spend considerable time with--the people that make up our extended family. It's important to give space to changing patterns of family and friends as it's expected that we'll drift apart for a large array of reasons that don't mean we care less for one another, but instead that life's interests, challenges, and needs have distanced us. That happens.
Social media gives us the ability to stay abreast of what's happening to our large array of friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances, and we all have to decide how we want to interact there. For some little to no social media contact is best, and for others the more the merrier. I believe that's an individual choice, and there's no one way to navigate that amorphous medium.
For me, this is mostly a time to strengthen close family ties and support events that recognize and strengthen close friendships too. I wish I had the time, money, and ability to stay close to all the wonderful people I've interacted with throughout my life, but that's impossible, so I'll do what I can to support them by recognizing their good fortune and showing compassion and support during the trials they experience too. It's important to welcome new people into your life as well as time goes on. Some of the new people I've befriended in the last few years have brought new insights, ideas, warmth, and liveliness into my life--they've introduced me to new worlds and have provided support that makes life better for me at this time. This is good too.
I guess we have to ride the waves of life by welcoming new people and being grateful for the good people throughout time that have journeyed with us. To move on does not mean that you forget, but instead, that it's time to embrace a new path, a path built upon the strength of old times, good people, positive experiences, and the lessons learned from not-so-positive experiences too. There will always be the ebb and flow of family/friend relationships and we accept this as a normal aspect of life, we will be better for it. Onward.