With a few days of luxurious time--time to think, time relax, and time to plan, I'm realizing that most of my big mistakes or greatest struggles in life occurred because of a lack of time. Those were times when I was super busy with countless tasks on my to-do list. To be that busy can result in error and poor choices mostly because you simply don't have the time you need to think and plan appropriately.
As I think about those busy, busy days and my sometimes impractical will to do it all, I am thinking of what I learned.
You can't be good friends with everyone: nurture a close circle of friends and family members
Now this may sound cold, but the reality is that you can't nurture and care for very large groups of friends and family members with depth and care. There are limitations to the numbers of people you can connect with in deep and meaningful ways. I think this may be a challenge for those of us who had wide circles of friends in college and our years before marriage and children--you want to hold on to all the friends past and present, but to do that you need lots of time and resources since typically friends spread out, have relationships and families, and keep busy schedules too. As I think of this, I think it's good to choose a few friends and family members that you choose as your close circle, and nurture those relationships well, and then for the others, plan reunion like events that bring you together every so often to share your stories past and present. That's a realistic plan that sounds much simpler than it is since nurturing close friendships and family ties sometimes is not as easy as it sounds due to all kinds of life factors with regard to geography, schedules, families, relationships and more. I've watched how my friends and family members have navigated their many relationships over time, and it seems to me that those that nurtured small groups of close friends and family members have been satisfied with that choice.
Prioritize
You simply can't do or be it all. We all prioritize whom we become and what we do. For me, a big priority has been my family. Often when it came to attending an outside event, I chose to stay home with family. Or when it was a choice about time, I typically chose events that would support my family. I'm satisfied with this choice and still enjoy the good times with my close family members. I've also prioritized my work. I spend a lot of time devoted to the work I do as a teacher. I take great pleasure in doing the best possible job that I can do to help my students develop in positive ways. My job is much more of a vocation than a job, and because of that it takes up a lot of time and energy. Some may think that I work too much, but my work has brought my life meaning and it is a direction I embraced early on. People make all kinds of choices about the work they do and how much time they devote to that work. In many ways, it's a personal choice that is motivated by multiple factors.
Take care of yourself
Having this luxury of time lately has helped me to think a lot about what it means to take good care of yourself. Sometimes when you are super busy, you may put your self care at the end of the list. This is typically not positive for you or for the people you love and care for. Understanding who you are and what you need takes time, and it's worth knowing what it is that you need to live a happy, positive life. There will be the obvious priorities of healthy food, good sleep, and movement/exercise, and then there will be the more personal priorities such as time to read, write, create, explore and more.
Do your chores
People choose to do their chores in countless different ways. For some, they hire many to do their chores, and for others they split those chores up with the people they live with and love. We all know though that if those chores don't get done they end up creating an uneasy weight of frustration and challenge. Typically a good routine of chores keeps your home, yard, clothes, transportation, and paperwork up to date and ready as needed.
Sacrifice
For most of us there are experiences, objects, and ways of being and living that draw our attention and desire. Often to obtain that desired experience, object, contribution, or way of living demands some sacrifice--sacrifice of time, money, objects. Sacrifice is not easy, but in the end, typically enriching and positive. I believe there's a just right level of sacrifice for each of us, and the key is to sacrifice in ways that fit who you want to be, what you want to do, and the people you want to take care of and spend time with.
Have some fun
There's a good balance to everyone's life when it comes to fun, but it seems to me that everyone needs to make some time for fun and that fun will vary greatly from person to person. What's fun for you may not be enjoyable for someone else. But to not make time to have fun typically results in frustration and unhappiness.
More than ever the possibilities to live in multiple different ways exist today--there are many choices out there with regard to where we live, whom we choose to spend time with, and what we do thanks to access to transportation, information, and the many people that surround us online and in realtime. None of us can be everyone's friend, participate in every activity, do every job, or complete all chores--there are limitations for all of us, limitations related to money, time, responsibility, physicality, personality, and access. And with this in mind, it's important not to be too busy to take a few moments to think about what matters to you and how you'll navigate the drive, choices, and limitations that exist as that will bring life more peace, meaning, and camaraderies.
As I think about those busy, busy days and my sometimes impractical will to do it all, I am thinking of what I learned.
You can't be good friends with everyone: nurture a close circle of friends and family members
Now this may sound cold, but the reality is that you can't nurture and care for very large groups of friends and family members with depth and care. There are limitations to the numbers of people you can connect with in deep and meaningful ways. I think this may be a challenge for those of us who had wide circles of friends in college and our years before marriage and children--you want to hold on to all the friends past and present, but to do that you need lots of time and resources since typically friends spread out, have relationships and families, and keep busy schedules too. As I think of this, I think it's good to choose a few friends and family members that you choose as your close circle, and nurture those relationships well, and then for the others, plan reunion like events that bring you together every so often to share your stories past and present. That's a realistic plan that sounds much simpler than it is since nurturing close friendships and family ties sometimes is not as easy as it sounds due to all kinds of life factors with regard to geography, schedules, families, relationships and more. I've watched how my friends and family members have navigated their many relationships over time, and it seems to me that those that nurtured small groups of close friends and family members have been satisfied with that choice.
Prioritize
You simply can't do or be it all. We all prioritize whom we become and what we do. For me, a big priority has been my family. Often when it came to attending an outside event, I chose to stay home with family. Or when it was a choice about time, I typically chose events that would support my family. I'm satisfied with this choice and still enjoy the good times with my close family members. I've also prioritized my work. I spend a lot of time devoted to the work I do as a teacher. I take great pleasure in doing the best possible job that I can do to help my students develop in positive ways. My job is much more of a vocation than a job, and because of that it takes up a lot of time and energy. Some may think that I work too much, but my work has brought my life meaning and it is a direction I embraced early on. People make all kinds of choices about the work they do and how much time they devote to that work. In many ways, it's a personal choice that is motivated by multiple factors.
Take care of yourself
Having this luxury of time lately has helped me to think a lot about what it means to take good care of yourself. Sometimes when you are super busy, you may put your self care at the end of the list. This is typically not positive for you or for the people you love and care for. Understanding who you are and what you need takes time, and it's worth knowing what it is that you need to live a happy, positive life. There will be the obvious priorities of healthy food, good sleep, and movement/exercise, and then there will be the more personal priorities such as time to read, write, create, explore and more.
Do your chores
People choose to do their chores in countless different ways. For some, they hire many to do their chores, and for others they split those chores up with the people they live with and love. We all know though that if those chores don't get done they end up creating an uneasy weight of frustration and challenge. Typically a good routine of chores keeps your home, yard, clothes, transportation, and paperwork up to date and ready as needed.
Sacrifice
For most of us there are experiences, objects, and ways of being and living that draw our attention and desire. Often to obtain that desired experience, object, contribution, or way of living demands some sacrifice--sacrifice of time, money, objects. Sacrifice is not easy, but in the end, typically enriching and positive. I believe there's a just right level of sacrifice for each of us, and the key is to sacrifice in ways that fit who you want to be, what you want to do, and the people you want to take care of and spend time with.
Have some fun
There's a good balance to everyone's life when it comes to fun, but it seems to me that everyone needs to make some time for fun and that fun will vary greatly from person to person. What's fun for you may not be enjoyable for someone else. But to not make time to have fun typically results in frustration and unhappiness.
More than ever the possibilities to live in multiple different ways exist today--there are many choices out there with regard to where we live, whom we choose to spend time with, and what we do thanks to access to transportation, information, and the many people that surround us online and in realtime. None of us can be everyone's friend, participate in every activity, do every job, or complete all chores--there are limitations for all of us, limitations related to money, time, responsibility, physicality, personality, and access. And with this in mind, it's important not to be too busy to take a few moments to think about what matters to you and how you'll navigate the drive, choices, and limitations that exist as that will bring life more peace, meaning, and camaraderies.