We can all become entangled in gossip. This potential occurs in any group you belong to. Sometimes communities embrace this gossip, and make it a mainstay, and at other times, communities outwardly work against this kind of communication. I've experienced gossip in many, many ways over my life, and while sometimes it's good to know the underpinnings of a situation, for the most part, gossip is harmful while transparency and honesty is preferred.
Recently I was the butt of gossip. I had no idea that this existed, and then when I found out, it was extremely hurtful. It was like driving into a pothole unaware that the hole in the ground existed. I have been trying to dissect the meaning of the situation in order to move on.
The situation began with what I thought of as good communication, but others interpreted as poor communication. The difference in perception had a lot to do with our different experiences of life. What I understood to be commonplace and natural, others saw as intrusive and insensitive. There's no right or wrong here, but instead differences of experience. I never thought people could think the way they did as they didn't think I could think the way I did. We were coming from different places.
The hard part is that this miscommunication created a stream of gossip and talk about me that didn't include me. I had no idea this was going on, and I found out via a series of very hurtful events over several hours as the true story was revealed. This isn't the first time this has happened to me, and each time I've experienced events like this, it has been very hurtful. I remember once a long time ago when I walked into a party planning event that revealed a gossip thread I had no idea of--it was so hurtful.
The truth is that if you've lived long enough, it's likely that you've experienced a situation like this from all angles--you've probably been apart of the secret and gossip and you've probably been the butt of this kind of interaction too.
Going forward, I want to stop gossip threads right from the start. If someone comes to me with news, I want to encourage openness and transparency, and I too want to be open and sensitively transparent with news I have. This will help to build honest, supportive conversation rather than secretive, hurtful communication.
As for the situation that happened to me, it has led to another valuable life lesson--one that will help me as I move forward in my professional, community, and family life. Onward.
Recently I was the butt of gossip. I had no idea that this existed, and then when I found out, it was extremely hurtful. It was like driving into a pothole unaware that the hole in the ground existed. I have been trying to dissect the meaning of the situation in order to move on.
The situation began with what I thought of as good communication, but others interpreted as poor communication. The difference in perception had a lot to do with our different experiences of life. What I understood to be commonplace and natural, others saw as intrusive and insensitive. There's no right or wrong here, but instead differences of experience. I never thought people could think the way they did as they didn't think I could think the way I did. We were coming from different places.
The hard part is that this miscommunication created a stream of gossip and talk about me that didn't include me. I had no idea this was going on, and I found out via a series of very hurtful events over several hours as the true story was revealed. This isn't the first time this has happened to me, and each time I've experienced events like this, it has been very hurtful. I remember once a long time ago when I walked into a party planning event that revealed a gossip thread I had no idea of--it was so hurtful.
The truth is that if you've lived long enough, it's likely that you've experienced a situation like this from all angles--you've probably been apart of the secret and gossip and you've probably been the butt of this kind of interaction too.
Going forward, I want to stop gossip threads right from the start. If someone comes to me with news, I want to encourage openness and transparency, and I too want to be open and sensitively transparent with news I have. This will help to build honest, supportive conversation rather than secretive, hurtful communication.
As for the situation that happened to me, it has led to another valuable life lesson--one that will help me as I move forward in my professional, community, and family life. Onward.