Have you ever spent time with people who focus on the negative more than the positive. Perhaps there have been periods in your life when that is how you looked at the world. And perhaps you've fallen into the trap of deficit thinking over thinking that highlights the positive instead.
There's a difference between critical thinking which helps you look at situations with an eye for betterment and deficit thinking which finds you simply highlighting the negative over the positive.
Last night I was at a couple of events where people were very positive, then later I experienced the dim and dead end experience of deficit thinking. The difference in the tone and outlook of the two perspectives awakened me. I think it's important to think about where you live on the continuum of deficit vs positive thinking.
How can you move towards looking for the positive over highlighting the negative alone?
First it's important to get your own house in order. Sometimes that's easier said than done, but when your own life is in disarray, it's difficult to see the positive in others' lives. What creates disarray in our own lives may be neglecting personal care, reaching beyond your means, engaging with less than positive activity, and not taking the time to reflect on who you are, where you are, and what you want to be. If you're stuck in a place where you derive your happiness from others rather than your own choices and lifestyle, that might catapult you into a negative cycle of deficit thinking, thinking that focuses negatively on what others may have and what you may not have.
Next, it's important to be real. In many cases, deficits do exist, and it's important to get underneath those deficits in ways that are positive. For example, you may notice someone's poor choice or unfair situation. Yet rather than point a finger or have an attitude of despair, you can think about where you stand on the issue and/or how you might mitigate unfortunate circumstances. Thinking back there was a point when I embraced deficit thinking when the results of my choices in life put me in a very different economic category than good friends. I simply couldn't keep up with their lifestyles and didn't make the time to recognize that in many ways I had made that choice by the career I chose and how I spent my time. I wish someone had highlighted to me at the time that the differences were far more a matter of choice and the culture we live in than anything personal and that I didn't have to "keep up," but instead look for common ground where our lives could continue to connect if I was interested in that.
Recently I encountered an individual who has embraced deficit thinking, and I don't want that to get in the way of the good relationship we've had for so many years so rather than see this perspective as a point of division, I'll seek the areas where we share common ground, and not entertain conversations or support for the often unreal and detrimental slant deficit thinking can bring.
Cultures can easily sway towards negativity, and we must work to understand where that's coming from and then redirect the negativity to positive critique, the kind of critique that reaches for betterment rather than the divisiveness deficit thinking creates.
There's a difference between critical thinking which helps you look at situations with an eye for betterment and deficit thinking which finds you simply highlighting the negative over the positive.
Last night I was at a couple of events where people were very positive, then later I experienced the dim and dead end experience of deficit thinking. The difference in the tone and outlook of the two perspectives awakened me. I think it's important to think about where you live on the continuum of deficit vs positive thinking.
How can you move towards looking for the positive over highlighting the negative alone?
First it's important to get your own house in order. Sometimes that's easier said than done, but when your own life is in disarray, it's difficult to see the positive in others' lives. What creates disarray in our own lives may be neglecting personal care, reaching beyond your means, engaging with less than positive activity, and not taking the time to reflect on who you are, where you are, and what you want to be. If you're stuck in a place where you derive your happiness from others rather than your own choices and lifestyle, that might catapult you into a negative cycle of deficit thinking, thinking that focuses negatively on what others may have and what you may not have.
Next, it's important to be real. In many cases, deficits do exist, and it's important to get underneath those deficits in ways that are positive. For example, you may notice someone's poor choice or unfair situation. Yet rather than point a finger or have an attitude of despair, you can think about where you stand on the issue and/or how you might mitigate unfortunate circumstances. Thinking back there was a point when I embraced deficit thinking when the results of my choices in life put me in a very different economic category than good friends. I simply couldn't keep up with their lifestyles and didn't make the time to recognize that in many ways I had made that choice by the career I chose and how I spent my time. I wish someone had highlighted to me at the time that the differences were far more a matter of choice and the culture we live in than anything personal and that I didn't have to "keep up," but instead look for common ground where our lives could continue to connect if I was interested in that.
Recently I encountered an individual who has embraced deficit thinking, and I don't want that to get in the way of the good relationship we've had for so many years so rather than see this perspective as a point of division, I'll seek the areas where we share common ground, and not entertain conversations or support for the often unreal and detrimental slant deficit thinking can bring.
Cultures can easily sway towards negativity, and we must work to understand where that's coming from and then redirect the negativity to positive critique, the kind of critique that reaches for betterment rather than the divisiveness deficit thinking creates.