Have you ever attended an event where you are the one who is not respected?
Have you ever been amongst a group of people when who you are and what you are are not favored?
If so, what do you do? How do you manage?
This happens to all of us from one time to another. I remember many years ago when I brought my children to a cultural event where we were the minority in a large stadium of people--my children had never experienced such a situation before. They wondered why they were not embraced. It was a good opportunity to discuss prejudice, marginalization, and inclusion. It was a good experience for my children and me. There were good reasons why we were not embraced, reasons born out of events past and present that excluded people and treated them with contempt.
When disrespect rears its ugly face, we must think about the situation with care and cull the truth that exists--did you earn that disrespect via action, words, or attitude? If so, how can you make amends and/or change your ways? Was the disrespect born from inaccuracy or misunderstanding? If so, what can you do to right the situation? Do you want respect in this situation or are you content with your actions, attitude, and beliefs in this situation? Who are you and what do you stand for?
As I think of situations of disrespect, it's clear that respect is born out of knowing who you are, what you stand for, and reaching for the dreams and goals you hold dear.
For me, as it stands today, this is what I stand for:
Have you ever been amongst a group of people when who you are and what you are are not favored?
If so, what do you do? How do you manage?
This happens to all of us from one time to another. I remember many years ago when I brought my children to a cultural event where we were the minority in a large stadium of people--my children had never experienced such a situation before. They wondered why they were not embraced. It was a good opportunity to discuss prejudice, marginalization, and inclusion. It was a good experience for my children and me. There were good reasons why we were not embraced, reasons born out of events past and present that excluded people and treated them with contempt.
When disrespect rears its ugly face, we must think about the situation with care and cull the truth that exists--did you earn that disrespect via action, words, or attitude? If so, how can you make amends and/or change your ways? Was the disrespect born from inaccuracy or misunderstanding? If so, what can you do to right the situation? Do you want respect in this situation or are you content with your actions, attitude, and beliefs in this situation? Who are you and what do you stand for?
As I think of situations of disrespect, it's clear that respect is born out of knowing who you are, what you stand for, and reaching for the dreams and goals you hold dear.
For me, as it stands today, this is what I stand for:
- Family matters. We must do what we can to support, love, and care for those we deem to be our family members--the people we love most in the world.
- No one has the monopoly on truth and justice; there is relativity in what we know, believe, and can do. Our perspectives, truths, and capacity differ based on perspective, experience, personality, and vision. No two people are seeing with the same eyes, and at best, respect is born out of reverence to this truth. We must, as I learned long ago, "seek the story in the stranger" as well as seek the story in friends and relatives too. Making time to listen to one another, observe, hear, and respond with grace matters.
- Don't take or use more than your share. It's a big world, and we all have to share in the resources--it's best to live simply with knowledge that no one should or can have it all.
- Give as much as you can, the best that you can, and in ways that you can. To be generous is positive. Find ways to uplift others via your generosity of spirit, ownership, time, capacity, and energy.
- Make time for reflection, study, learning, and listening. Let the world teach you and challenge you to be better. Don't be content with the status quo, but instead strive for betterment in areas where it matters to you and others.
- Celebrate the good times. Enjoy the best that the world has to offer. Find the good things, good times, and good places and enjoy that. The world is full of beautiful places, good people, great ideas, wonderful creativity, the arts, and celebrations. Aim your life ship in the direction of what is good and promising, and spend less time with endeavor, people, places, and events that are negative and life-ending.
- Be mindful of your weaknesses. When you get to be my age, you're fairly aware of your weak spots--the actions and mindsets that take you down. You have to make a ready list of those weak spots and keep it handy so that you don't forget the nemesis those attributes can be in your life.
- Be flexible. Life will hand you challenges you can't imagine. I cringe when I think of this as I must say when that's happened to me, it has been frightening, worrisome, challenging, and wrenching. Yet, it will happen, and we must be ready to face those situations with positivity, flexibility, and trust that we'll get back on track sooner than later, and our lives will be stronger for the challenges we face.
Disrespect is a wake-up call that leads us to consult our souls, strengthen our resolve, and better the ways we approach life. Now it's time to heed my own words as I move forward on this incredible journey we call life. Onward.