A friend called me this morning to discuss one of her relationships. Her friend has gone through a tremendous life change, and my friend was talking to me about how to best support this friend at this time of need. It was an interesting conversation that made me think about the tenderness and fragility of the relationships we have.
Not that long ago, I penned what I thought was a benign note to an acquaintance. The individual was very upset by the note. I apologized, but the person has not forgiven me, and has acted with considerable, but not dangerous, malice since that time. I must say I was very hurt by the entire situation, and did what I could to rectify the harm my letter caused. Yet, I didn't create a change of heart in my friend. I'll give it time, but I do admit that it has been a hurtful situation.
I learned a valuable lesson, however, about taking care with the words we speak or write--often the relationships we have are much more tender than we realize. This episode also made me think about how we spend our time, the need for etiquette, and the value that respect holds for long lasting and positive relationships.
As I think about relationships, particularly those that I hold dearest, I am mindful that the following efforts matter:
Not that long ago, I penned what I thought was a benign note to an acquaintance. The individual was very upset by the note. I apologized, but the person has not forgiven me, and has acted with considerable, but not dangerous, malice since that time. I must say I was very hurt by the entire situation, and did what I could to rectify the harm my letter caused. Yet, I didn't create a change of heart in my friend. I'll give it time, but I do admit that it has been a hurtful situation.
I learned a valuable lesson, however, about taking care with the words we speak or write--often the relationships we have are much more tender than we realize. This episode also made me think about how we spend our time, the need for etiquette, and the value that respect holds for long lasting and positive relationships.
As I think about relationships, particularly those that I hold dearest, I am mindful that the following efforts matter:
- Be a good listener
- Respect people's choices
- Be very careful about offering any advice
- Be truthful
- Be open to critique with the knowledge that none of us are perfect
- Keep your priorities in good order
- Be as empathetic, compassionate, caring, and generous as you can
- Recognize that relationships will change over time as people navigate the countless twists and turns of life.
- When relationships are strained, take a vacation from that relationship to gain perspective
- Be as kind as you can
Relationships matter greatly when it comes to good living, and it is best to nurture those relationships in any way that you can. Onward.