I've been debating this decision for quite some time now, but I've reached the conclusion that I'll move in a few years.
Why?
I'll move because I desire a new chapter in life. As I reflect on this past 30+-year chapter, a chapter that took me from early marriage to the birth of my children and a 34-year year career as a teacher, I know that it has been an overall positive chapter of life, one where I met my main objectives which were to nurture my family and teach well. Fortunately I was always inspired towards these goals--I wanted to love and care for my children and teach as well as I could. Of course, it wasn't always perfect, but overall I'm satisfied. I have been fortunate to share this chapter with my husband who is an awesome companion and best friend. That has made everything better.
This house that I'll move from in a few years holds a lot of good memories. It is a warm and welcoming place nestled in a corner of land that borders a river and conservation land. We have good neighbors and a terrific proximity to our jobs as well as many beautiful, natural spaces. This has been a haven in so many ways. My children will be sad to see us sell the home they lived in during all of their childhood and teen years. So why move?
In so many ways, I've been an obedient servant to many, many expectations layered on me from my earliest days. I am thankful for so many of those expectations such as expectations related to good parenting, teaching, family values, and community contribution. Yet there are other expectations I am less thankful for, expectations rooted in prejudice against women, anti-intellectual attitudes, too much pragmatism, and bigotry and classism of other sorts. I want a fresh start from those expectations--I want my next chapter to reflect the freedom, creativity, and beauty I have always longed for in my life. I want to live in walking distance to a library, coffee shop, public transportation, cultural centers, and nature preserves. I want to join like-minded, creative folk in good endeavor that inspires my reading, research, writing, and creativity. I also want a place where I can continue to nurture my family in important loving and positive ways. I want a place that brings value, warmth, and strength to their lives.
I'm not exactly sure where this place will be. There is definitely a longing in my heart for certain geographical locations--when I drive through these places, I can feel a sense of belonging. I often wonder if this is a part of my DNA and one reason why I am so drawn to the genealogy puzzle that I partake in as I research the stories and travels of my ancestors.
In the meantime, I'll prepare this house for the move. I'll get rid of all the things that don't matter and organize the things that do. We'll clean up the rooms with painting and repairs to make the house sellable, and I'll have fun virtually shopping for a new home in multiple locations until we find that just-right place. We're not in a rush. It feels like we have the luxury of time, but that might be a mirage as life is never as certain as we sometimes think it is.
I'm excited about this adventure. That's a good sign. Now it is time to get started. Onward.