This morning, I'm taking a few moments to think about the relationships that are the most important to me and how to nurture those connections now and into the future. What matters?
Listening
Do I make time to truly listen and hear what my loved ones have to say? How can I develop this skill? I know that to plan times to talk when listening is easier is one easy step when it comes to becoming a better listener. Talking to each other at times when you are relaxed and ready to listen helps. It is important to identify those times in the day, week, or month and plan to talk. Of course, when it comes to communicating with loved ones, it won't always be a scheduled event, and you have to make a decision that when they call, you'll be ready to listen if possible.
Another practice that may help listening, is to think before you start the conversation, What will I learn about this person I care so much about today, and after the conversation you might reflect on the question, What actions did our conversation prompt--what can I do to follow-up with the words we exchanged? Recently a member of my family called--it's a person I haven't been able to see in a while due to COVID-19 pandemic restrictions. His call reminded me that we'll get to see each other soon, and I want to make that reunion special. There's much I can do to plan for this special event, and I'll do that in the days to come.
Sharing special celebrations and events
My sister-in-law creates a family calendar for her family so they all remember each other's special events. I want to do that too. To recognize each other's birthdays, anniversaries, and other special events is one way to keep relationships strong and focus on one another. I have received a card from one of my good friends every year for the past 40 years--I know that she does that for countless family members and friends--it is a small, but meaningful gesture. One I look forward to. I want to build in more traditions like that, traditions that strengthen the bonds that exist.
I also want to think creatively about the kinds of events we plan for and enjoy together. By recognizing my loved ones' changing lives and interests, I can recalibrate these events in ways that includes everyone's interests, schedules, and ability to participate. I'm already looking out two years to an event I hope to share with my family upon one son's college education. It won't be a fancy event, but it will be a lot of fun. I hope to spend some time researching all the details related to this event so that it will be special for all of us. Not only does the event itself bring people together, but the planning and anticipation creates warmth and closeness too.
Presence
Often what your loved ones need most is a listening ear and warm body. Simply being present at times of need is comforting and helpful. That gift of loving presence is very powerful.
Generosity and Help
Whenever I was in need, my parents were there to offer support in all kinds of ways. You are forever grateful for the help and generosity of family members and close friends' ability to be there when you are most in need. To be that person for others, is to truly strengthen relationships.
As I think of my loved ones today, I can think of many ways to support who they are and where they are headed in life. To actually list and schedule those supports make them happen so I'll do that later today.
It's important to take your relationships seriously and nurture them in every way that you can--these loving relationships are the greatest gifts in life-the gifts that keep on giving in days good and not-so-good.