Some people are more controlling than others.
Why is that true?
I know that sometimes those who desire control come from situations where they had little control--situations that created the need to control what they could because everything else was out of control. That can lead to a controlling attitude in life.
It's difficult to think about any situation in the United States today without thinking about our deranged, oppressive, and ignorant President--a man that causes daily hardship to the lives of many good Americans. His will to control and his corrupt ways of doing that could be the result of his childhood--a time when he was clearly discontent since he was acting out all the time, and had to be removed from his childhood school because of that. There are no reports of him having a loving and caring home, but instead reports illustrate a home devoured by his father's greedy and corrupt ways of making money. Trump's will to control results in danger and hardship daily--his controlling nature is contempt.
There are others, however, who are far more open minded, at ease, and flexible. These good leaders typically have good ethics and values, and like a big, healthy tree stand strong in both storms and fair weather. These tall-tree-leaders are beautiful as they offer shade and protection to those that stand beneath their towering branches and lovely leaves.
How does one nurture the tall-tree-leader in themselves and others--a leader clearly in control, but not controlling? What does one do to develop that?
Values and Ethics
Tall-tree-leaders have good values and ethics that they consult daily in their work and revise as needed. They are not weak and wavering, but instead strong and steady using their strong roots of good values and ethics as their sustenance.
Empathy and Humanity
Tall-tree-leaders lead with empathy and humanity--they go hard on the problems, not the people, and they see the common strife, struggle, and beauty that we share as individuals. They will people to do well, and do all they can to support that. They understand that we're imperfect, yet stronger and more perfect when we work together to help one another.
Confidence
Typically these most-strong and wonderful leaders have come from long lines of loving, good people--people who instilled in them a sense of confidence and strength about who they are and what they are able to do. These tall-tree-leaders are the results of the hard, good, work of the many who went before them.
We want to set our sights on being tall-tree-leaders by being strong and ethical, empathetic and humane, confident and open minded. Rather than seeking to control, we want to strengthen our self-control in ways that help us to lead others in groups great and small towards betterment, community, and care for one another.
Self-serving, controlling, and inhumane leadership challenges us and oppresses us--that kind of leadership brings out the worst within and amongst us. That is why we have to look toward the best leaders we can find--strong individuals that bring out the best in us and empower us towards good living for ourselves and others. We can do this.