I remember the final days of many family members. In most cases, we knew death was imminent and we gathered with loved ones in real time or online to discuss next steps, offer support, tell stories, cry, and say good bye. Every death was a bit different. Some spent their final days in nursing homes, hospitals, or hospice at home or a hospice center. In every situation, I was able to do what I could to support those loved ones. Rather than regrets, each death offered lessons about how to live life.
Lessons learned
In most cases, the lessons learned were lessons about good living. All of my loved ones who have passed away gave us lessons of good living in one way or another. I have a better life because of their stories and think of them often when I replicate their lifeways. Their lives also lended lessons about how to live life better. For some, their deaths came too early because of health risks they faced--risks we knew little about in times past and risks we can avoid today. Some deaths were causes, in part, because of less education too about good living--knowing what to do to live a long, healthy life.
Final Days
More often than not, we know that death is near though sometimes, as we sadly know, death surprises us. What do we do when we know death is near? How can we comfort that person in ways that matter? The simple question, What can I do for you?, brings great satisfaction to all involved. Typically in an individual's final months, weeks, and days, what they want is quite simple and meaningful. Typically your presence is the number one request.
If we live our lives well for ourselves and others, there will be few regrets in the final days, and lots of good stories to share and gain strength from after that. Onward.