The idea of nine months brings to mind the path from conception to birth for many people. The amazing nine months that find so many mothers and their loved ones a journey of anticipation and preparation as they await the birth of baby. I remember that journey well for each of my children and with regard to a couple of miscarriages too. To carry a child for any length of time and to give birth are amazing gifts, experiences, and life enriching events.
Miscarriage
After the birth of my three sons, I had two miscarriages. In some ways, I am glad that I had that experience since it gave me empathy for what people go through even though I know that every miscarriage is a different, personal story, and some are so much more devastating than others. For me, the fact that I was pregnant was exciting and a bit scary too. My life was busy, my resources somewhat depleted, and my obligations great. How would I care for another child, I wondered. Yet, there was also that wonderful sense of excitement at the thought of having another child since I love children, especially my own, so much.
The first miscarriage happened quite quickly--it was clearly an act of nature. The second miscarriage happened well into the pregnancy. Looking back I wonder if I could have saved that child if I had sought out better health care. The doctor never did anything wrong, but looking back, he also didn't take into account some health risks I posed for the pregnancy at the time. It was a very sad loss, but I was so kindly supported by my husband, family members, and hospital staff--so there was some beauty and grace to the event too.
In general, it's vital to have the best possible health care before pregnancy and while you are pregnant. It's also good to educate yourself aobut what to expect and how to best support that child, pre-conception and forward.
Pregnancy and birth
I was one of those moms who enjoyed the entire pregnancy--I was excited about the promise of meeting the babies that I carried and nurturing those lives. I was teaching while pregnant so my children began their development surrounded by the sounds of young children and lots and lots of activity. I hardly ever felt my babies kicking and I think that's because I was so busy and active while pregnant. Each birth was different, and each baby was born a lot like they live today. One lumbered out, another shot out like a bullet, and the third came sunnyside up. The one who lumbered still today takes a quiet, thoughtful, kind approach to life. The bullet never lacks energy, and sunny-side-up is the most chill person I know. I love the diversity of who they are and what they bring to my life and the lives of others.
I was fortunate to be able to bring the children into a warm, welcoming home. I could have been even more prepared, perhaps, by waiting a bit more for their births. I lived in small third floor apartment when we had number one. Eventually with a whopping $5,000 down payment, we bought the house we live in today--it was a good move that provided more space and warmth for our children.
Nine Months
I remembered back to these multiple nine-month experiences as I heard CDC Director, Robert Redfield, tell us that we will have a vaccine for the coronavirus in about nine months--that's a timeline so many of us can embrace. How can we prepare to give birth to a new chapter in life, a post-COVID19 chapter. What can we do?
Create a vision
Create a vision for what you want life to be post-COVID? What did you learn during this time that will impact the next chapter? Take time to work with your loved ones to create a vision for post-COVID life.
Preparation
Find the promise in the problem, what can you do with your time now to positiviely impact your future? Time at home means you can update your homes and yards to make those spaces more warm and welcoming. This time also gives you the opportunity to develop your relationship skills in ways to strengthen intimacy, get to know your loved ones with greater depth and purpose, and support each other well. It's also a good time to develop skills and abilities--read more, learn more, become a better game player with regard to the games you enjoy, and rethink your repertoire of interests creating better playlists of music, film, and podcasts. Focus on personal and family health. Get outside and enjoy natural spaces. Create routines, objects, and adventures that give your life purpose, great memories, and a strong foundation for success.
Celebrate
As with any birth, figure out how you'll celebrate the positive changes of a post-COVID life. Just like the birth of a baby, there will be work to do and it won't be an immediate change, but a process instead--a process of getting everyone vaccinated, updating lifeways, and working to prevent future sickness of the magnitude that COVID-19 has been.
Hopefully, in nine months, we'll begin to see the light at the end of this pandemic tunnel. I look forward to that day just like I looked forward to the beautiful births of each of my children. Onward.