Sometimes we lose simply because of time and place. We may be ahead of the curve or behind it. We may represent a group that's not popular or ideas that people don't really understand yet. Losing has as much to do with time and place as it has to do with your personal endeavor and effort. So when we lose contests big and small, we have to reflect with the following questions:
- Did I do my best?
- Did I have the skills, mindset, and knowledge needed to win?
- What could I have done to improve my chances of winning?
Once we assess the conditions that led to the loss, then we have to decide if we'll try again, or if we'll move on to other things. We also have to decide what our attitude and reactions to the loss will be.
Many years ago, I lost out on a contest-like effort I got involved in. After assessment, I decided to go for it again. I realized that I didn't sufficiently have the knowledge needed to achieve the win the first time, but after additional study, I did meet the goal the next time.
In another loss, my assessment demonstrated that it wasn't the right contest or "prize" for me--the pursuit was actually outside of my deeper interests and passion. The loss was actually a win in that I learned that a particular arena was not right for me.
I've noticed that some people who lose, but don't reflect, continue the same poor behavior or attitude that led to their loss in the first place. Without reflection, they were not able to use the loss as a potential win righting them in more positive, successful ways.
We are all losers and winners with the various pursuits we engage in throughout our lives. The challenge is to see the value in both losses and wins, and use reflection and those experiences as stepping stones to building a good life. That's what matters.