There is great joy in genuine care and support of others.
As an educator, my favorite moments were those moments when my efforts resulted in a child's gain of new knowledge, skill, or a problem solved. I remember the bright eyes and enthusiasm of a student this spring who learned all about a person in history who spoke to her--a person who will serve as a historical mentor to this young girl's life. That learning was pivotal for her. I also remember trying to learn a dance on the playground with a group of young girls who were very good dancers--this interchange helped those girls to learn that no one had the monopoly on learning, and that no matter who we are, when we want to learn, it takes effort as well as connections to those in the know. Then there was the time a young, quiet student came back to share her love of nature and environmental preservation with elementary school students--clearly she had taken the learning at elementary school and beyond seriously and was now able to forward that learning with young students. I have hundreds, maybe thousands, of stories of satisfying school events when my efforts, in part, resulted in positive learning. There is great joy as I recount those stories, stories that most educators and parents can easily relate to and mirror with their own accounts of good work and care.
Most people know about and have experienced the great joy in caring for others.
Now as I embark on care for others as a retired teacher, I am revisiting the notion of care. What does it mean to care for others?
One line, I like to refer to is this: When ambition feeds mission, that's good, but when ambition trumps mission, that's not so good. In other words, you want your energy to serve and care for others to match your mission--missions such as establishing a strong family, community, work culture or environment.
So, it's important that your care is well directed to the greater good.
It's also important that your care doesn't take over, but instead is compassionate and takes dignity and self respect seriously. One big mistake caretakers can make is to take over and impose their own values on another rather than listening to and working with those they care for.
Care for my children
As young adults, my care here has to relate to helping them build the good lives they are creating, good lives for themselves, those they love, and their communities. They have embarked on their paths, paths different from my path, and my job is to support their journey in ways that I can.
Care for my parents
I watch my parents age with humility knowing that they are mentoring my aging process. Sometimes I overstep as I care for them, and that reminds me that I have to help them with as much care, dignity, and respect as I can. As I work for and with them, I think of the example I am setting for my own children who will one day probably have to help me as I age. I try to think about what I have to give, and then give that.
Care for my neighbors
My husband and I are fortunate to have such good neighbors, and we are thinking of ways that we might support their good living more.
Care for my community
As I branch out from my 24-7 commitment to teaching in the past, I am considering ways that I might contribute to and help the greater community in the days to come.
Care for my nation
Right now, my care comes by way of paying taxes, following laws, advocating for change in laws/policies I don't believe in, supporting good candidates for leadership, and speaking out against lawless, self-serving, irresponsible leaders. As I move forward, my work in the community will also be work for my nation/world.
There is great joy in caring for others, and joy is a wonderful aim in life. I will think more on this quest in the days ahead, and in the meantime, I have a lot to do to shore up family supports at this time--ways I can support my sons, parents, and extended family members in ways that matter.