A few weeks back, I had a challenging experience. Everything about the event was frustrating, yet I couldn't quite define what exactly made it a frustrating day. After lots of thought, I realized that the day and people involved challenged my decisions and ways of being. It was as if they hoped I was someone different than I am. I thought a lot about their subtle messages that who I was and what I was doing were ill directed. Was there truth in this?
When I took their perspective, I understood that they were looking at my life via perspectives and experiences I didn't have. In some ways, they looked from a point of greater wisdom thanks to their life experiences, and in some ways they looked at me with a lack of understanding of who I am and why I would make the choices I make.
In the end, I realized that the event didn't represent our common ground--what we both enjoy, believe in, and like. Instead, it was an event that struck at our differences. That's what initiated the discomfort and frustration. Also, the event spoke to our mutual areas of worry, concern, unknowing, and struggle, yet, another reason for the disharmony. Further, I was challenged to think about efforts and events I had not thought a lot about.
Challenging events will happen, and generally those events hold some truth about who we are and where we want to go in life. Sometimes we may misjudge the level of intimacy, shared interests, common philosophy or our impact on one another. Yet, with thought, we can move on from experiences like this to better times and better living. That matters.