A friend called, and her conversation was insensitive. That was not her intention, but clearly she doesn't understand a few facts about my life. This is a good friend and good person, and she didn't intend to be insensitive, however she simply has not knowledge, experience or understanding of the issue she was insensitive about. I'm sure I've demonstrated similar insensitivity related to issues I don't know about or understand.
How can we develop our sensitivity in areas like that? What can we do?
I think the bottom line is that it is better to ask questions and listen, than give advice when the situation is in an area you are not familiar with. I remember a long, long time ago when I loved one experienced a significant loss. I naively offered advice, and my loved one became angry. I clearly had no idea what she was going through--it wasn't my place to offer advice from my place of inexperience and unknowing.
If we're looking for sensitivity and good advice related to issues that belong to us, it's best to reach out to those who have been there before, and resist discussing those issues with inexperienced advice-givers. And it's also best not to offer advice with regard to areas far from our life experiences or knowledge--in situations like that it is best to listen. Onward.