The older you get, the more you are aware of the good-bad continuum, and the fact that people you consider to be really good, just like the rest of us, make some bad decisions too. Few to none are at the far ends of the good-bad continuum--we all sit somewhere on that line hopefully leaning far toward the good rather than the bad.
What makes a person good or bad? What circumstances support goodness versus bad? Does this matter?
I actually remember one of my first evil impulses when I was in grade school. I remember thinking about the impulse and choosing a positive response rather than going along with the impulse. I remember this vividly including where I was standing at the moment. I also remember times when I made a poor choice at a similar crossroads. What fostered the good choices, and what fostered the bad choices?
One bad choice during college found me exasperated by a situation, so I made a bold, but not positive, move. The move had the effect I was looking for, however, in the long run proved to be a poor choice. What led to the poor choice was impulsivity, not knowing other channels of resolve, and doing it on my own rather than consulting others. Had I consulted others and sought different channels of resolution, we could have easily solved what was a relatively small and annoying problem in a win-win fashion.
Another bad choice I made during my professional career, was to go along with a group who were not so positive when it came to their discussion and some choices. The group had many good qualities and were attractive because of their smarts and mostly really good work, but they had some flaws too. Rather than stand up to the flaws, I went along, which was a poor choice at the time. I learned that lesson early in my career, and thankfully made better choices later on. The attractiveness, success, and popularity of some groups can lead us astray, and we can avoid the problems groups like these create by choosing more positive, good people to stay close to.
There are also those choices you make in life, that some would deem bad and others deem good depending on their perspective. I actually thought of this topic today because last night in my dreams I encountered a person from the past who often made decisions differently than me. That person would point to some of my decisions as poor choices given his perspective, choices that I still hold today as positive, good choices. The two of us see life quite differently and define good and bad in different ways too.
In general, there are a number of constants when it comes to making good choices, constants such as:
- Is the choice healthy for you and others?
- Is the choice truthful?
- Is the choice life enriching for you and others?
- Does the choice have long term value?