As I've noted before our big family gatherings have become intimate affairs during the pandemic. There are clearly advantages to this new found intimacy though we miss seeing so many of our friends and relatives.
In the past, I rarely had a moment with my mom and dad to engage in a good conversation or complete a task together. Typically my childhood home was filled with people and lots and lots of activity. There was little stationary time or lengthy conversations. It was go, go, go. Now, due to the pandemic, visits to my mom and dad's house typically includes mom, dad, and me. Just the three of us. It is a much more intimate affair than days of old.
What are the advantages of this intimacy?
There has been a great sense of peace with these intimate gatherings. I love hearing my parents' stories about days of old, and I also enjoy talking about our shared memories. For example, last week as Dad and I drove to the doctor's office we recalled the time he courageously made the decision to drive up the wrong side of the road during one of the region's biggest snowstorms in order to get home. I remember how frightened I was as he crossed the barrier and ran the motor to get up the hill. My pregnant mom and three siblings were in the car with Dad and me. When we finally got home, we had to park the car in the nearby church parking lot and hike up the street. I trudged through the thigh-deep snow--it was a frightening and exciting night.
There are more choices during these intimate times. For example, I have the time to cook meals that my parents enjoy as well as take my mom out for a drive by familiar places in the area. During the drives, we tell stories and notice nearby places we never paid much attention to before. I've noticed a lot that I may not have noticed before when life was busier and more crowded.
The key is to take advantage of this greater intimitacy at this time. Our large family gatherings have moved to virtual spaces instead so that everyone stays as healthy as possible. Today I'll venture out to visit my parents again. We'll begin to get the house ready for the holidays, cook, tell stories, and complete a few jobs. Though different, family visits are a critical part of a good life, and it's important to continue those visits in safe ways during this pandemic time.