To sell your soul is to gain wealth, success, power, or benefit of any kind by doing something bad or dishonest. Why do people sell their souls? Have you ever done that?
I imagine that many of us have been tempted to trade benefit for dishonesty or bad acts? Many of us have probably done that in small ways, and learned our lessons by how bad we feel or the resulting hardship that occurs. I thought, with regret, about a small matter that I was involved in some years ago. When confronted, I owned up to the very offense. I felt terrible. Why did I do it in the first place?
In my situation, money was the reason why I didn't fess up to a scraped car door. The wind took my too-large door and it scraped the car next to me. I was horrified, but was worried about the money it would cost. I didn't say anything until a colleague confronted me about it. I apologized and offered to pay, but I must say that small, but egregious act, is not one I'm proud of. As most of us learned when we erred as children, it doesn't pay to be dishonest, do the wrong thing, or hurt others in any way.
So, if that's true, why do people sell their souls? What are the big motivators of this life-deafening endeavor?
As I think about acts like this on a larger scale, the College Gate Scandal comes to mind. I really like the actress Lori Loughlin--I have enjoyed the characters she has played and the shows she starred in. I was sorry to see her mixed up in this, and when I read more about her family and the fact that she did not go to college, I believe I understood, in part, her will for her girls to go to a presigious school, and her stop-at-nothing efforts to make that happen. This scandal began with the man who concocted the scheme in the first place, and continued with the many coaches, schools, and families that got involved. A lot of lives have been greatly hurt by this corruption. Why did people sell their souls? They did it to get ahead, earn accolades, and be presigious. Yet, quite the opposite has happened since many have spent time in jail, paid big fines, ruined their families' reputation, and harmed the children they hoped to help.
Right now, I wonder about those who sell their souls to back up President Trump and his team's errant leadership--what do they have to gain? Why do they do this? Does the Trump team threaten these followers with personal information, evidence of past corruption, or images of deeds that society deems illegal or contemptible? If so, how and when will these stories emerge over time, and what price will these individuals have to pay with regard to prison time, fees, embarrassment, loss of jobs, and depression?
Fortunately I grew up in an honest family and supportive community that preached doing the right thing all the time. Even though I erred with the car-door incident, in most cases I've been saved from such destructive behavior--behavior that we pay long term prices for. That's why I feel so strongly about keeping the message of doing what is right and good alive--I feel that message is good preventative care when it comes to living a good life.
As we continue our lives and raise our children and grandchildren, how can we stay on an honest, positive path? How can we resist the opportunities to do wrong, and in what ways can we be brave when someone tries to take advantage of us?
Honest acknowledgement of past events
We have to be honest about our past. I imagine that the Trump team may hold people's sexuality and related choices and images over their heads. We know this is a way that people take advantage of others. I've watched the sexual mores change over time. Only twenty years ago, people would outwardly brag about sexual behaviors that are now arrestable offenses. On the other hand, people would hide sexual behavior that is now acceptable and part of the norm. The United States, in my opinion, has a warped sexual identity that creates a lot of problems--as a country, we have not embraced sexuality as a wonderful and natural part of life. So, I feel sorry for those whose past sexual exploits are now used to exploit them--while I understand how dehumanizing some of those exploits were, I also know that in many parts of our culture, those exploits were accepted, encouraged, and illustrated again and again as normal via multiple films, television shows, books, and magazines. We have to acknowledge abuse and misuse of sexuality, but I also believe we have to be compassionate in all but the most heinous situations by taking into account the context of the times.
Context plays a big role with regard to misdemeanor. Much of what has been seen as acceptable in the past we have come to learn is wrong and dehumanizing. We can all think about past acceptable events at home, within our schools, and in the greater community, that are totally unacceptable today. We can't let people use our pasts to exploit us. We have to reckon with our pasts and be compassionate about the pasts of others. This is one way to hinder the exploitation that can occur.
Tell the truth
We have to own up to our truths both positive and not-so-positive. As soon as my car door hit the car next to me, I should have sought out my colleague and told her. In hindsight, I'm glad she found out and confronted me. That took courage on her part, and she taught me a good lesson. I'm embarrassed to even share this story since I'm not proud of it. We have to own our past neglect, poor choices, and bad acts. That's the right thing to do.
Few to no secrets
In general, most secrets are found out, so it's best not to keep secrets. I came from a family that did not keep secrets. In fact, some might characterize us as having no filters, but in general, this was positive. We have nothing to hide which gives us a lot of energy for good living.
Help others
When you see someone in a comprising position, speak up. This has happened to me a number of times in life. Once in my early twenties, I was in a compromising position. Someone stepped in to right my direction--their efforts to help me saved me from tremendous and long lasting pain and grief. In another instance, my words at work were ignorant. A colleague clearly demonstrated my lack of understanding in a compassionate way--she taught me, and in hindsight, that was pivotal with regard to my successful career. Had that colleague not spoken up, I may have continued to act with ignorance which could have cost me my job or hurt those in my midst. We have to be courageous enough to help each other do the right thing. Just recently a loved one wanted to make a decision that was not totally honest. I spoke up to say that to make that choice would add suspicion to his overall character and future choices. Fortunately, he made the right choice.
Consult each other
When in a position where you are frustrated or wondering what to do, consult others. In these cases, many minds are much better than one. Sometimes in the thick of a situation, it is difficult to know what to do, that is why it is so critical to establish a group of trusted family members, friends, and/or colleagues to help you out.
You pay a great price for selling your soul, and sadly others pay a big price when you sell your soul too. We've seen this play out time and again in our culture today and in the past. It's best to always do the right thing. For many, this may sound trite, childish, and parochial, but it is a message that you have to repeat to yourself all the time to keep yourself on a positive path.
It wasn't until my forties that I realized that people actually do commit the many sins parish priests would talk about in church each Sunday. As a child, I used to think, Who does these things? as the priests would go on and on about multiple sins. Then when I hit forty, I noticed that people engage in these behaviors far more as older adults than children. Hence, it's good to pay attention and do what you can to preserve your "soul" and do the right thing for yourself and others.