Sometimes we may try to live the lives of others, and sometimes people may want to dictate our lives too. The reality is that while we influence each other, each of us lives our own lives.
In the early years, we consulted most choices with our parents and siblings. Later we conferred with friends, then our partners and children, and now at an older age, I find myself in the I'm-here-if-you-need-me stage of life. My children are mostly making their own choices and living their lives and the same is true for siblings and friends.
While we may share who we are and what we believe in or choose, we are not in a place to manage or direct the lives of others in any way. This is a new stage for a teacher and parent who was used to managing many lives in the home and classroom. What is some good language and ways to manage this stage?
Language. It's a time of offers and questions rather than directives or judgment. Questions and phrases such as these are helpful at this stage:
- What can I do to help?
- Tell me about it?
- What's important to you?
- How will this work for you?
- Do you have any questions?