Some of us may have experienced homes where rough talk was common, places where sarcasm and ridicule were a form of endearment. No matter what the intent, this kind of language is not helpful. A bit of sarcasm and deprication can be exchanged in good fun, but a steady habit of this kind of language does no one any good.
It is oppressive to be baraged with streams of negative talk, name calling, and ridicule day after day. When I was a child, a relative used to talk like this a lot to another relative. I didn't find it funny then, and I don't find it funny now--ridicule day after day is hurtful and leaves a mark no matter how well intentioned it is. Also, it's easy to replicate this kind of language and thought in your own life, if you grew up with it as a mainstay. You have to unlearn that kind of verbage for more positive living.
Recently I was exposed to this kind of ridicule and it was very hurtful. While I knew the intentions were not meant to hurt me, the words cut through me like a knife reminding me of that childhood experience of witnessing one relative essentially slay another day after day with hurtful words. I am too sensitive for that kind of speak.
As with many things in life, my optimism sometimes blinds me from the reality of a situation. I see the rosy lining at times when it doesn't exist, and only later when I'm exhausted with despair do I realize the weight of an oppressive, negative, or painful experience. So as I think about the weight of ugly, hurtful words, I realize I have to speak up when that occurs and say that I am too sensitive for that kind of exchange, I cannot bear that kind of ridicule or teasing for any length of time--that's not who I am.
I love to be able to help if I can. I feel it is a grace and a privilege to be able to truly help another person--to me, that brings life meaning, communion, and peace, but I can't help while also being demead and hurt. If that's the case, then someone else will have to do the helping. It is as simple as that.
To speak with love and kindness is natural for most children, but is often unlearned as children are exposed to more hostile, less peaceful and kind experiences. Kind talk does lift us up while unkind speak brings us down. We've just spent the last four years bullied by President Trump and his unkind team of corrupt, self-serving individuals who berated us daily with angry lies, insults, blaming, and sharming. We don't need that, and it does none of us any good. It's time to move to better speak in all aspects of our lives as that serves us and those we love and care for well. Onward.