I did a little research about traditions and found that there are a number of different reactions to this concept. For some, traditions are what keep a family and culture together--a place where identity is born, and for others, tradition is similar to a noose that is life-ending, challenging, and an obstruction to new, different, and better.
So what is it about tradition that keeps some of us coming back for more and others turning their backs on the notion.
For me, my favorite traditions are those that bring us together as a family or friends--traditions that bring joy, laughter, good food, wonderful stories and good times alive. These are times and acts I want to repeat because I value what they represent. A gift or card to a loved one says, I'm thinking of you and I care about you. A shared delicious meal brings us together to share stories, show our support, and acknowledge one another in meaningful ways. Holidays and special events are repeated to signify the importance of the holiday and event as well as the meaning they holds for good living. Traditions, to me, are a way of making life special, demonstrating our care for one another, and reminding us about what's important in life.
Yet, some traditions, can be difficult awakening bad feelings and experiences from the past or representing events that include many, but not you or your values and lifestyle. For example, a friend told me a story about an annual holiday party where some members of the family never felt welcome or included--the party represented distance, anonymity, unwelcomeness. Others remember the pressure holidays brought to their families and the resulting behavior of addiction, anger, depression, and overspending--the holidays asked too much of those individuals and their families, and thus were not welcome events. And old time traditions about who we are and how we should live often left people out who wanted to live differently and engage in new activities. So when it comes to tradition, there is a balance--a balance between keeping alive events that bring out the best of us and retiring past traditions that were exclusive, unwelcoming, or negative in any way.
So, at this holiday season, what traditions will I embrace, and which traditions will I retire?
Holiday Cards
My husband, more than me, has kept the holiday card tradition alive. It's his way of keeping in touch with the many people he's met along the way in life. When I get involved in this tradition, I do what my mom always did by writing cards to those who are sheltered or struggling first, and then following up with others. It's a tradition we'll continue.
Gifts
This tradition has always been a bit difficult as what I'd like to give all those I know and love is far too expensive than what I can afford, yet I do like to shop for small gifts that demonstrate care for the people close to me--I like to gift them something that I think they'll enjoy as a way to say I'm thinking of you, and you mean a lot to me.
Holiday Dinners
I love putting together a wonderful holiday meal for those I love--I enjoy the preparations and the satisfaction on my loved ones' faces when eating a delicious meal. I also enjoy the conversation at the table as we relax over a delicious dinner. This is one of my favorite ways to get together with those I love.
Decorations
I love the way the holiday decorations brighten up the house during the dark winter days. The ornaments signify special people and events while all the decorations fill my mind with wonderful holiday memories from years past beginning with those early days when I would lie under the Christmas tree imagining, wake up with butterflies in my stomach to see what Santa brought, open the gifts with my brothers and sister with such joy, and play all day with our new toys. Memories of special Christmases including those with new loves, new babies, and even last holidays with family members who have passed also fill my mind. Decorations bring these memories back in meaningful, beautiful ways.
Culture and Arts
There are special shows, performances, public displays, and yearly events that also become part of our holiday traditions. Unfortunately many of these are cancelled or moved online this season, and we will miss those community events, but when the pandemic passes we'll likely return to those events such as a special weekend in beautiful cities, holiday concerts, theater performances and more.
At their best, traditions are a way to demonstrate our love and care for one another--a way to propagate the events of life that we share, events that provide us with a common heritage--touchstone points of connection. Today I'll think about this as I wrap gifts and decorate the tree. It's time to get ready for a more intimate than usual holiday season, but a season when we'll show our love and care for one another still. This demonstration of love and care that traditions bring make us stronger and better for the challenges and opportunities that await us in life. Onward.