I reflected on relationships today and remembered a former colleague who always reached out to me as a young teacher. He was many years older than me and obviously had a different vantage point given his age. Whenever he would call, I was always in the middle of a hundred tasks as a busy mom, family members, and educator. I listened to his words, but seldom really heard what he was saying given how busy my life was at that time. I was just keeping up.
Now, so many years later, I remember well the busy, busy days of parenting young children and working full time. The pace was incredible, and while I appreciated the kind gestures, support, and help from so many, I was not able to value the impact of that kindness with the depth or care deserved. Life is so busy at times in your life, that it is difficult to see beyond the many tasks you have.
So now as I try to be as loving and supportive as so many were to me, I can empathize with the busyness of their lives, and know that to be able to help is a good thing to do as it's tough to be super busy often with the desire to do more than you're able to do.
Memory is a tremendous value when it comes empathy--to remember various stages or events in life increases your empathy for others at those stages or with those events. To consult memory first is help you act with empathy, and that's a good thing to do.