How often has embarassment stood in the way of a good relationship?
I remember a time years ago when I divulged my true self to a friend, and then that friend chastised me. I was so embarassed at my misjudgement of the situation that I broke off the friendship. Later I tiptoed around the issue testing the waters of possibly reclaiming the friendship, but that led to nowhere.
Another time, a friend saw me at my lowest point, and still today I'm embarassed about that. If the friend had acknowledged that or moved on with compassion, perhaps the friendship would have continued, but that didn't happen.
On another occassion, another friend did see me at a low point, but that friend was able to be compassionate, and we were able to talk about it. We moved on from that situation and the friendship remains.
We all have embarassing moments in life--times when life finds us at our lowest points, and others witness that. On another occassion, I got very upset over a conversation topic--I reacted, and later I was embarassed about my explosion of emotions. Thinking back to that event so many years ago, I realize that the situation strained the relationship not because I emoted, but because my "friends" showed no compassion or understanding. No one said, "I know you you must feel" or "Thanks for being so honest." Instead, they ignored the emotions and perhaps even chuckled a bit--perhaps they weren't good friends at all or perhaps I expected too much.
As I think of embarassment, I am thinking about the fact that it's the way those around you react when you do something that reveals your weak side or makes you vulnerable. Many years ago a friend of mine revealed a worry she had--it was a very personal worry. I listened and probably offered too many suggestions rather than simply show empathy and compassion. I can tell that the friend is still embarrassed about revealing that issue in her life, and at some point we'll have to make peace with that.
I've never thought a lot about the role that embarassment plays in our relationships, it is a side of life I'll consider more in the days ahead. Onward.