When I was young, I didn't think as deeply about relationships, but now as an older person, and a person who values relationships greatly, I think more about those relationships. Today I am thinking about the decision that sometimes arises of whether to preserve a relationship or let a relationship go. How do you decide?
As much as possible, I believe it is good to preserve relationships. In the past, I let some relationships go without thinking deeply about that decision. I let it happen without the forethought that helps one to see the big picture and make a good decision.
So, how do you handle that forethought--what do you do?
First, consider the situation that is challenging the relationship? In the past, there have been many situations that have challenged relationships including differences in income, life choices, medical concerns, and more.
Then, consider your role in the situation. Did the events that challenged the relationship trigger you in some significant way. I remember once a situation that challenged a relationship triggered me in ways that related to a loss I had early in life. The challenge was less about the relationship and more about an early life event I experienced. I let that, in part, end a relationship. Also, consider your communication--is the way you are communicating exaspirating the situation.
After that, take the long view. Consider this individual's role in your life overtime--do you really want to lose that. Often when you consider all the good a relationship represents, it gives you the energy and perspective you need to acknowledge the relationship's value, and the work you need to do to retain that relationship.
In most cases, it is best to preserve a relationship. To do that, you have to take time out to consider the issues that challenge the relationship, your role in the relationship situation, and the value this relationship has for your life past, present, and into the future.
Onward.