I replayed the scene repeatedly in my mind to figure out what went wrong and why. The day started with utmost positivity and good energy. A worrisome call took time to deconstruct, share with others, and respond to. But still, energy was good and expectations right. Then there were a series of small, worrisome events--a lack of peace in the air. I didn't think much about it, but looking back, that lack of peace was having an effect on me. After that, discontentment grew, and my own angst grew with it. I tried to make peace, but at that moment, there was also a fight going on inside myself--the situation was clearly uncomfortable, and I was urging myself to stay the course, do the good work, find a positive path, but I was loosing good energy and a healthy perspective. Worry grew. At last, after many attempts with good humor, I used a strong voice hoping that would turn the tide toward greater positivity, but that only escalated the clear disarray that had been building all morning. It was a wrong move. Thankfully, I wasn't alone, and help moved in to recalibrate the situation. I did what I could to help out clearly frustrated and dismayed that I misread the situation.
Later in the day, I researched the details of the event to find out how I might do a better job next time. I learned a lot.
First, the situation relayed by phone catapulted me into decision making I had little training or knowledge of. Plus the decision demanded concensus with a group of people who had somewhat different perspectives. It was a stressful decision. I believe the result of that work was as it should be given the facts, yet clearly the stress added to the day.
Second, while I brought good energy to the situation, my zest was too quick and powerful for the situation at hand. My research shows that the right energy for the situation is energy that's slower, quieter, and more responsive than directive.
Third, I had a need for a quick-fix in a situation where a quick-fix wasn't going to happen. The situation is one that is not clear to anyone, and a situation that requires expert consultation and some trial and error to get the right routine and supports in place. This difficult-to-understand situation doesn't lead to quick fixes or perfect solutions, but instead the need to prioritize so people are safe and as happy and comfortable as can be. It's a complex situation that may find you reaping positive results on one hand while withstanding challenge on the other hand at the same time.
Fourth, no one can do this on their own--the situation requires a team effort, and the team's work in this arena is relatively new. While some team members have good knowledge and experience, many are new to this terrain and learning how to cope with it for a first time which makes the situation emotional, worrisome, fretful, and/or discouraging.
So today after erring yesterday, I know a lot more about how to handle similar situations in the future including the following steps:
- Enter the situation with as much peace, calm, and an open mind as possible.
- Remind yourself of the priorities which are comfort, care, and happiness.
- Don't make the situation more complicated than it has to be.
- Be as positive and helpful as possible.
- Respect the multiple perspectives at play.
- Rely on the expertise of the professionals on the team.
- Remember the big picture which is that this situation will not last forever, and you want to deal with it with as much good will, positivity, and grace as possible.
- The quick energy, strong voice and directives that worked just a short time ago in this situation no longer work--it's time for a new level of quiet, gentle care and comfort.