It's been years now that I've been strategizing around creating positive routines, care, and good times for my loved one who has been suffering from dementia. At first there were simple signs of forgetfulness that occurred, and those times alerted family members that we had to take more care when it came to outings and get togethers. We couldn't expect our loved one to do what she did before since her capacity was changing.
Then, in time, the dementia became more severe resulting in the need for constant oversight and care. Fortunately we have a big, loving family, and everyone has done their part to care for my loved one in significant ways.
Lately we have had to add more specialists to our care taking team since my loved one's care requires greater expertise from medical professionals and more time on task from care takers in general. Every step of this journey has required us to learn more, collaborate, and strategize too. While life in general is set up to support many stages in life, the current supports for dementia and old age in many ways are still not normalized and easy to access in society. There's definitely room for improvement. This is not surprising since the generation of elders now are often outliving those in generations past.
Looking back at this journey, I wish I had realized that it would be a journey that's constantly changing and a journey that is regularly requiring more study, outreach, and problem solving. My husband and I have been moved to organize the details of our life now rather than wait until we may face similar struggles in our final years--we want to make it as easy on our children and ourselves as we can.
To grasp this often worrisome path in life with a spirit of journeying with as much compassion, love, and grace as possible is the best way to go. It is a journey that will better you if you let it--you'll learn a lot, become more humble, and gain greater perspective, empathy, and warmth as you move ahead.
Making better in situations like this are not about fixing the issue, but instead about embracing what's happening and making the most of it in humane, life-enriching, positive ways. Onward.